chains of chad

joy to the world lyrics

2005-06-17T09:39:00.000-07:00

Jeremiah was a bullfrog
Was a good friend of mine
I never understood a single word he said
But I helped him a-drink his wine
And he always had some mighty fine wine

Singin'...
Joy to the world
All the boys and girls now
Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea
Joy to you and me

If I were the king of the world
Tell you what I'd do
I'd throw away the cars and the bars and the war
Make sweet love to you

Sing it now...
Joy to the world
All the boys and girls
Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea
Joy to you and me

[electric piano]
You know I love the ladies
Love to have my fun
I'm a high life flyer and a rainbow rider
A straight shootin' son-of-a-gun
I said a straight shootin' son-of-a-gun

Joy to the world
All the boys and girls
Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea
Joy to you and me
Joy to the world
All the boys and girls
Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea
Joy to you and me

Joy to the world
All the boys and girls
Joy to the world
Joy to you and me
Joy to the world
All the boys and girls now
Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea
Joy to you and me

joy to the world

2005-06-17T09:19:00.000-07:00

-joy to the world-
had a pretty rough week,and i mean pretty rough. had a tiff with someone rather close,no not wilson but enough to put me down for a few days really. life,full of ups and downs so i hope eventually everything will be fine soon,yeax soon i hope.

as you guys know i am with someone special now!!

yeah!! you guys know who that person is and i am in love yeap... :)
w's really sweet.. w cares for me,watches over me and made me life bright again.
it wasn't really passionate and strong as the previous relationship initially but it soon took me over. this relationship feels different in a whole,it's moulding slowly evolving and transforming at it's very own time.

it's like rice,it's plain initially but you need it to provide you with your basic carbo intake every single day. you must have rice!! it's like i must have w by my side. plain,yes thank you i know. but,with the right sauce and seasoning!! hahahaxxx.. it'll taste fantasic!! loves it..

love w.. :P

alright i'm gonna watch raise you voice now!!
it's my third time watching it..
hilary duff rocks!!!

love ya all!!!
stay sexy!!
muakx!!

hee so desperate

2005-06-12T06:53:00.000-07:00

Congratulations! You are Susan Mayer, the divorcee
and single mom who will go to extraordinary
lengths for love.

Which Desperate Housewife are you?
brought to you by

laugh out loud?

2005-05-27T09:44:00.000-07:00

as i carefully text what i hace been through today,it hit me pretty hard that i am actually sad.... i guess life is pretty empty,neither here nor there,good or bad..it's the kind of feeling that puts you back to square one and you just sit there thinking about how happy and cool life used to be without any woes... i miss being really happy and not have anything to think about.. my A levels are coming,my personal problems,family..etc....

kinda sucks don't you think..

a few weeks back,i seriously thought i was getting better even dandan told me that i feel different and all.. more jovial and you know always laughing..but deep inside i am not very alright. fuck!!!

had a great time today with drew and eliza(drew's friend). it started out initially with only drew and me.we went to have lunch at coffee club and we talked about everything including how to get biggy. then came along his best friend eliza and she's a really cool lady to hang out with!! someone who might put cheryl to shame for the crown of the best fag hag!!!!!

we chatted,laughed really hard and laughed and laughed. we too fed ourselves with loads of eye candies who were attached!!!! yawnx... not fun... very very not fun..

been listening to mel c's new album and i totally love it.it's a feel good rock album with powerful lyrics.. :) worth the money!!!

and also spice girls are reforming.. :) yippi.. :)

tired....
should get to bed...

will be thinking about eliza digging shit out of his bf's asshole with her long fingernails....

-back for long?-

2005-05-26T09:12:00.000-07:00

arrrghhhhhhhh.....

logged onto the computer....
logged onto blogspot..
logging in..

and here i bloody am trying to get the very dusty webs off my blogskin(lame) it occured to me that it has been almost a month since i blogged!!!! my god!!! what happened to a healthy blogger? now a lazy bum!! yes yes.. call me that i admit i am lazy!!

very laxy indeed,to the extend i am lazy to get my own food sometimes... hurhurhur,but that does not explains my never ever seem to come true weight gain!!! yes,all thanks to lex's comment.now i am seriously and am very desperate about weight gaining!! i will do anything to gain that fucking amount of weight even i have to swallow down someone's cum!! yes DXXX,i will.. hurhurhur....

loves it..

to clear the air,i don't like swallowing cum..unlike bernie i am very very concious about my sexual fetishes!!bern you know i love you muakx!! oh and by the way,you look really hot when you're squeezing the hell outta her breast!! so sexy!!

i am getting so fair now!! i am fair to the extend that i don't dare to look at reflection... so scary,i bloody need the damn sun but it kept raining these few days!! sucka!!!!
i need a tann!!!!

oh yeah by the way,i think clubbing is kinda fun.. i love dancing and i love hanging out with nic and rick;hey you sexy bitches!! nice nice...

i miss cheryl too... and my mid year is comin i gotta mug really hard yeap!!!!

time to get serious... my beloved literature teacher's dad passed away yesterday afternoon. i attended the traditional indian funeral today and i learned loads about the culture.. it';s amazing!! i mean yes,i am sad but but but.. you know.. sigh.. err huh... now now what should i say.. i mean we don't know what the future holds and we shoudl treasure everyone and everything we have now before it's too late!!!*her dad fell to his death,he was a healthy man!!!

mrs renu,be strong... :) hugs!!!

alrighty,time to get the hell out..... hurhurhur...... or and by the way i miss morgan too!!!!!!

american idol is so not very cool

2005-04-28T07:50:00.000-07:00

i am so not watching american idol untill the day when scott savol gets the boot!!!! i hate him,he's like the fat prick under my toes. i think he applied for like a dozen phone lines and call the toll free number again and again during the 2 hours of voting period;and probably he applied for yet another or maybe a couple of dozens of phone lines for his family members. the more he wobble on screen,the more pleased i am introducehim to pixar.why? because they should make him star in the new shriek movie,if they are gonna make shriek-more-real-life. such staggering resemblance!!! i gave him 5 stars for that and not forgetting we need tones of green paint to fully paint that rather large body of his..

yucks!! i pity the make up artists. imagine,seeing scott savol naked? god!!! my worst nightmare!!

i am so sad to see constantine go... sigh..it's like i'm gonna miss someone looking deep into my eyes and say sexy dude!! common,constantine is hot,i am afraid i have to admit that i am pretty bewitched by those mesmerizing eyes of his;they make me wanna rip of those shirts and go um ma um ma na ma nai!!!but but but.. before that i think i need to give him a full blown good old fashion wax,i am not a fan of hairy chest!! -yawnx- it'll save me more time if anthony fedorov has those eyes instead,i'll save time and money on wax!!! :P

yeah baby yeah!!!!!

dear blog

2005-04-12T07:15:00.000-07:00

dear blog,

it's been really long since i last updated,pardon me for the little disapearing act i put across. :) i don't think a lot of people are reading my blog anyway so what's the point of lashing or florishing my blog with gratifying happenings or disastrous events. right? well but now,i am updating for my very own sake,i need to get things out so here i am back from where i am,tagging,furiously typping as if i am like one of those caged hamsters in the pet shop tryin to swallow as much food as possible for guaranteed survival.this feeling sucks,i feel so alone.

i am not happy...
i am not happy with my life....
i am D.....

went to the pool today with johnson after school today. the little sunbathing and swimming trip did perked my moods up a little although not enough to do justice but it is enough to at least make me feel better.went home took a little shower and came online to get the latest episodes of desperate housewives;my only antidote to supress my big D. amazingly,i picked up brain(i left it somewhere in walalulu land)and went on to do my gp essay on world government.i think the essay suck as badly as the epitaph written on my unfaithful grandad's grave.(i've never seen him before)

i dreamt about eutopia today.what is eutopia to you? enough money to suffocate your econs teacher's mouth? a house as huge as linsay lohan's fake boobies? enough of wives/husbands or flings to put JLO to shame? what is your eutopia like?

another issue i wish to talk about is regarding the charity bands.. remember lance armstrong with the yellow livestrong band? then came the nick anti racist black and white charity band and then all of a sudden there are theses sudden flush of ersatz bands trying to get the attention of some or shall i say most of those kiasu singaporeans. they are bloody flooding the market by selling bands of bizarre colors with oh-seems-so-encouraging words.hey people what are you guys thinking? i know it's in fashion and i do have one,but mine was imported from e bay and it's 100% autentic which means the royalties are going out to cancer patients all around the globe. but these creators of those fake bands are totally going all out to make those young teeny boppers get their really fugly bands.the only thing good about them is that they are cheap.... so cheapo,remember these bands were meant for people who donates to the cancer charities!!!!!!!! get your ersatz bands off!!! gross!!!

going back to watch my desperate housewives. i am now at episode 14,4 episodes ahead of what mediacork is showing. the show just grows on you everytime you watch a new episode.it simply rocks!! oh yeah, i bought mariah carey's latest album 'the emancipation of mimi'. it is way better than glitter or charmbraclet. her voice is back and the ballads rocks!! get it yeax if you are a fan of her,her ballads or her errrrr hmmm boobies.. ciaox...

fun o fun

2005-04-03T00:14:00.000-08:00

Your an ice dragon! Congrats! Out of all the
dragons, you are most powerful but do not like
to show it. A rare and special creture, you
have artistic style and are great at expressing
yourself. You think friends and Familly are the
most important, and are a hopeless romantic.
But of course, as ice goes, you can be a little
cold or harsh at times. But not to worry, you
always apoligize later!

What elemental dragon are you?
brought to you by

hobbits' song

2005-03-18T10:37:00.000-08:00

Roads go ever ever on,
Over rock and under tree,
By caves where never sun has shone,
By streams that never find the sea:
Over snow by winter sown,
And through the merry flowers of June,
Over grass and over stone,
And under mountains in the moon.

Roads go ever ever on
Under cloud and under star,
Yet feet that wandering have gone
Turn at last to home afar,
Eyes that fire and sword have seen
And horror in the halls of stone
Look at last on meadows green
And trees and hills they long have known.

2005-03-18T10:35:00.000-08:00

simple life music award 2005

2005-03-16T23:04:00.000-08:00

album of the year:
*american idiot-green day
*the daries of alicia keys-alicia keys
*unwritten-natasha beddingfield
*confessions-usher
*songs about jane-maroon 5

song of the year:
*yeah!-usher feat lil john and ludacirs
*the reason-hoobastank
*breakaway-kelly clarkson
*if i ain't got you-alicia keys
*she will be love-maroon 5

best male:
*josh groban
*usher
*john mayer
*daniel beddingfield
*eamon

best female:
*beyonce
*kelly clarkson
*avril lavigne
*britney spears
*alicia keys

best new artist:
*joss stone
*kayne west
*maroon 5
*jet
*natasha beddingfield

best group:
*hoobastank
*destiny's child
*green day
*u2
*yellowcard

*hey guys this is the annual simple life music award,yeah it's called simple life now! so please vote for those who you think are worthy... :) yeap...

legolas's dream

2005-03-11T09:19:00.000-08:00

To the sea, to the sea!
The white gulls are crying;
The wind is blowing,
and the white foam is flying.
West, west away,
the round sun is falling.
Grey ship, grey ship,
do you hear them calling,
the voices of my people that have gone before me?
I will leave,
I will leave the woods that bore me;
For our days are ending and our years failing.
I will pass the wide waters lonely sailing.
Long are the waves on the last shore falling.
Sweet are the voices in the Lost Isle calling.
In Eressea, in Elven home that no man can discover.
Where the leaves fall not:
land of my people for ever!

2005-02-25T08:31:00.000-08:00

my fave girl and me @ jaivn's place...his mom wipped up some cool food!! yummy!!

2005-02-25T08:29:00.000-08:00

my best pal,cheryl and me, trying to get some serious attention from our medical assistant!! hurhur...

2005-02-25T08:22:00.000-08:00

en ci,abby,enhui and me!!! aren't we hot????

2005-02-25T08:20:00.000-08:00

en hui and me trying to get daddies and mommies to adopt us!! mwahahahah.. and in her rjc uniform?? FAROUT!!!

three cheers for hcjc's apollo fac

2005-02-23T20:23:00.000-08:00

i have been thinking,what is causing me to be lazy or for the very least lazy to blog.. hmmmm.. let me see, probably because of 'the fact that i am sitting on my bed when i am on the computer that makes me really sleepy...?' not a good enough reason.. let me try again.. 'because i am lazy to use my brain?' or i know i know.. maybe.. 'i am just freaking lazy with no reason to it!!' yeah yeah ...!!! watever...

hwa chong's dramafest:

hot MCs!!!!both MCs were fantastic,they were so funny...actually,they provided almost half of my entertainment that night while waiting for my friend's play.both of them showcased their ability to present,humour the crowds(the rawks with their lame jokes and those 'oh my god' pick up lines) mediacorp,grab them!!!!
the other 3 facs had some average plays running,not too bad. i thought it's almost as plain as dishwater,their plots were so predictable.but, kudos for the time spent i guess.. :)
bernie and gang were really hot!!!!!bernie's play rawks!!!! it was just simply the best!! i mean it's like chocolate fudge smuggled with hokeypokey icecream topped with wipped cream and cherries with 5 hot hunks feeding you!!! wOOoooOO!! the whole cast rawks totally awesomeness!!!!!! the play was not the usual i've seen it on tv thingy. good acting,great storyline and beautiful directing!!! BRAVO!!!!!
irritating they were,i mean those hwachong girls.. they kept repeating in wispers how cute someone was and on and on and on in chinese!!!!! drop your skirts!! bollocks!!
abhore at the lack of seats!!!! more seats please!!!!!luckily paris,nicole,tinkerbell,honey and foxy cleopatra were not here. they'll scream...
bernie please retain so i can once again withness you play and laugh along to the MCs!! opps!! i am jokin dear!! paris will pay for your fees.. i love u bernie,you rawks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-overall the experience rawks!!!!paris and nicole will come with me next time!! this is chad for the simple life 4,school visits!! byeeeeee....hurhurhurhurhur.....

v day is comin but everything sucks!!

2005-02-13T05:34:00.000-08:00

todat is the 13th of feb 2005... 13th .. 14th.. oh my god!!! tomorrow is valentines' day.. tomorrow is valentines' day?!!!!?? good gracious me,i can't believe how time flies,it's like i didn't even see it coming and with such haste the lunar new year is almost over and here pops the oh so very 'distinct' day for couples all around the globe(i feel sick all out of a sudden,i feel like puking)

i mean sorry i am such a dark gloomy bastard. maybe because of the influence of kelly clarkson,simple plain,green day and avril;i've certainly changed.i love dark stuffs,goth..bla bla bla.. and being pessimistic a forte it seems;although very much i don't want to;can't help it,can't control and i won't deny it. since beginning of the year,i felt as if i have been living in a small grey room,there are 4 clear and impeccable walls withno form of entertainment nothing. nothing interest me,maybe except those weekly dosage of sentosa fun,other than that nothing else.

being alone oh how i love it.. you know i love it when i am sitting here alone typing chains of blog materials,goin out alone,studying alone the list goes on? yeax bull shit chad!! ok,i think i am lost i don't know what i am talking about. but one thing that's clear and it stays bold in my head is the fact that tomorrow is valentines' day!! and i fucking hate this day!!! because i ... i... nevermind.... i shall stop yagging and you know arrgh.. laugh? yes i did!! in fact i laugh loads at becky branson,oh i should introduce. she is the lead female character of the chick novel 'shopoholic'. becky,you are a gift sent from heaven and you made my valentines' eve a bit brighter. you made me laugh loads and i thank the author sophie for her wonderful work,really i lvoe it.. sigh i need to book to make me feel happy? goodness what am i thinking?

chad chad chad... sigh.. i better sing songs to make me feel better..ok shall i sing.. err 'since u been gone' or 'bolavard of broken dreams'?? or ahh perfect song for me,guess what....... .. . . .. . . ....... 'welcome to my life' arrrghhhhxxx what about 'nobody's home'? god!! what's wrong with me...... sigh.. i'll get some ben and jerry's ice cream to cool me down.. see ya... it's a psaaing phrase i hope,god..... bad V day everyone!!!!!

entertainment news update!!

2005-01-31T01:00:00.000-08:00

this week according to the bks st the pulse,kelly clarksonj holds steady at #6 on the billboard hot 2oo album charts with another 61,139 units sold. this brings kelly overall to 1,137,445. kelly's chart position remainds at #6.

way to go kelly and congrats on another successful week on the charts.. :)

have you ever

2005-01-30T04:49:00.000-08:00

Painted faces,
float on by,
lipstick smile,
and shadowed eyes.
all a part of the game of chance,
a theatre of pain,
Control-out of your hands.
you pause,
and wonder why-are we all insanes?
that we hide,
the masquerades of our lives.

We can see,
a future tomorrow,
a tomorrow,
that will never come.
You can see,
tears and sorrow,
the blood and sorrow,
I'm on my knees.

We cross the street,
hand in hand,
see the people,
if you can.
taken in,
by,
lipstick and a tan,
we all smile,
we're her fans. . .

the masquerade is forever. . .

Clustered groups,
two by two,
one by one,
and you must choose.
the MASQUERADE,
the masquerade that is for you.

So you see,
there's a tomorrow,
a tomorrow which you can bring.
Do you see,
the painted joys of tomorrow,
the joys the mask can bring.

Shadowed ghosts,
of forgotten play,
shazy hue,
sand sharper greys,
revolving doors,
pass you by,
as you exhale"Good bye and goodnight"

Now crying,
now I'm crying,
for the masquerade that is life.

sadness

2005-01-28T19:06:00.000-08:00

i'm not feeling great these past few days/weeks other than some outing with my friends and they are very short lived;i mean the happiness..

someone's sister died in a car accident in australia... sorry to hear about you lost and sorry once again that i am not able to make it there on time and i don't have the cash to fly there.i love you and be strong...

kelly's cd 'breakaway' is doing great all around the globe,thanks to all the kelly-wacks out there for their support.

i have so much to blog about but i am gonna keep them in.. so much... i am disappointed,sad.. bla bla... whatever... fuck them....

sorry...
gotta go.. enjoy your weekend..

walkaway

2005-01-22T08:32:00.000-08:00

saturday = sentosa day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i don't know what to say,everything seems so dark and woeful...

i don't know where those people who i called friends or bros are...(i know some of you guys are with me thanks you)

saw people that i don't wish to see and stuffs..

i am not feeling well physically.... ... i am weak....

'i used to be scared of
letting someone in
but it gets so lonely
being on my own
no one to talk to
no one to hold me
i am not always strong
oh i need you here
ARE YOU LISTENING...??????'

sigh,nite guys...

sentosa day

2005-01-15T05:34:00.000-08:00

wassap!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i woke up darn darn early today even though i had only 4 hours of sleep the previous night;i am actually amazed by my ability to withdraw myself from yawning. as usual,saturdays are sentosa day so since no one is askin me out later in the evening or the plans are rather ambigueous,we spend ample amount of time at sentosa today enjoying ourselves.

cheryl,weiying and me!!! yeap,we dropped by sunset bay to sit and chat chat a bit while i did a reading for weiying and cheryl while munching prestels and chocolates.. snapped some pictures using my (err hmm)rather powerful phone before we proceed to my island just across sunset bay. it drizzled though,for a few minutes all thanks to weiying and her stupid mouth,cheryl's bro's endless cursing(u will puke non-stop for the next 2 days!!) and my friend,jayson for his smart yet so annoying weather prediction.

anyway,the rain lasted only for 5 minutes..try your luck next time guys!! played volleyball for a bit.. tanned a bit wento to delifrance for soem bites before heading to the shower room beforewe took the bus outta sentosa.

we had some pretty interesting conversations throughout our tanning sessions though. we chatted about monogamy,about being who you are,about some bastard who cheated my dear cheryl's heart.. pat pat! that guy should go bang his small and smelly head(he don't really bathe) against the wall!!! what lame excuses you gave when you want a breakup,tell cheryl that you like someone new if you dare!!! you totally have no courage manx.. (refer top fish leong's song "yong qi".. i think so yeax..)

went to town to hunt for some stuffs that the girls need while i waited for my friend to confirm if we're gonna watch a show or to have dinner. in the end,hurhur...we're not meeting. went home straight after that,while half the time wishing i was home so i could apply aleo vera gel on my skin...... hurhur very funny chad is burnt,i am not..... hur hur..

oh berny dear,i miss you pal!!!!! meet up soon k..
carrie dear,thanks for reading out my dedication and played my song.. and saying you miss me ... owww.... meet up soon too yeax.. miss you...

*also,i told someone about how i felt yesterday nigfht on msn. about how i feel that my god bro don trust me enough to tell me somethings and i felt really left out. well you know what? that person told my god bro!!!! besta!!!!cool bananax!! you score manx,with what you did.. yeah!!!!!

oh yeah,man U lead during second half... go home those liverpoolians!!!!! woOOohooOOO....

ciaox..

eq test...

2005-01-13T01:22:00.000-08:00

Your EQ is

140
50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!
51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.
71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.
91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.
111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.
131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.
150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's" Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

-behind these hazel eyes-

2005-01-09T18:58:00.000-08:00

heya guys!!! i'm currently blogging in my school's newly establish computer lab!!! yeah!!! not too bad i guess,certainly pleasent because i could ask for nothin more than an aircon room fully furnished with computers and decent chairs,coolness!!!

just finished my econs test.the test was fine,managed to tackle all the question in 2 hours,so i am fairly pleased with myself... :) cheeros..

i don't wanna be such a dork but i don't understand why am i feeling real bored and lethargic so easily. seriously!! i know i have an army of friends yes yes, maybe it's the need of someone close being around to hold,to share and to spend quality time under the outrage of the north east monsoon!! hur hur,very funny..

i am trying so hard to save up more money to get the phantom of the opera soundtrack. it totally marvels me.. i mean the songs,arrangments,the instrumentals and those amazing vocals put up by our three leading mn and lady. the song kept spinning in my head,like the after effect of an encounter with the phantom himself;haunting but beautiful.

"think of me,think of me fondly when we say goodbye.
remember me,once in a while and promise me that you'll try"

stunning!!!! outstanding!!!! a standing ovation people!! woOOOHOOOooo.. ok i am seriously not-very-sane!! ok i'm elek-ing OUT!!!!

-questionair-

2005-01-06T23:29:00.000-08:00

Reflections of 2004
[questionaiire knicked off someone else's blog]

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
i never knew i could carry out a note,so i joined some singing competition and drank a bit too(but i hate it,can't understand how those alcoholics stand that smell)

2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions and will you make more for next year?
i hate new year resolutions!! they are crap!! i don't believe in them..

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
no!i wish...

4. Did anyone close to you die?
not this year,but my uncle did,he's a jerk and we are so not close.

5. What countries did you visit?
uh huh... wanna check my passport?

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
i want an i book/power book and an i pod..and probably a space in one's heart.

7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
5 of september.. well i think that'll take me a while to forget..

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
made it into singapore idol round 2'recieved compliments from ken lim and doug!! guess that's it..

9. What was your biggest failure?
failure? well i try not to believe in them,sorry..

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
high blood pressure for a short bit..

11. What was the best thing you bought?
kelly clarkson's sophomore cd ' breakaway'!! it rocks!!!!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
ain't got a clue!!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
someone who i use to love.. and a couple of friends,let's not talk about them...

14. Where did most of your money go?
movies!!! and cds,chilling out with my buddies and i think my cellphone bills too;they almost sky rocketed to the height of mt everest!!!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
about kelly clarkson's new cd and songs!!! and the fact i got into the second round of singapore idol.. in addition i got an A for my literture.

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
breakaway and since you been gone,both my kelly clarkson.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you

Happier or sadder:
no difference,probably a little pissed..

Thinner or fatter:
err lost a bit of weight..so what do you think?

Richer or poorer?:
poorer!! sobx,anyone wants to pay my bills for me?

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
studying..and workin out more..

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
bumming around at home!!

20. How did you spend Christmas?
out with bernie and my family,he's such a great company and i miss you pal!!!

21. Did you fall in love in 2004?
yes i did so much in love...

22. How many one-night stands?
hahaaha err.. .. .. .. .. .. my manager shall answer that for me.. mwahahah!!!! can count with one hand..

23. What was your favorite TV programme?
american idol!!

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
i don't hate people probably dislike them.. a few i reckon..

25. What was the best book you read?
the importance of being earnest by oscar wilde. made me laugh loads!! i am such a dork!!

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
musical,that phantom of the opera rocks and my kelly clarkson rocks too!!!!

27. What did you want and get?
-met some nice people who are now a part of me.
i think that's it,i don't get what i want very easily,i am not bloody rich or what so yeax,i am poor!!!

29. What was your favorite film(s) of this year?
i think it's a cross between cinderella story and white chicks accompanied by the phantom of the opera and mean girls;although i don't like linsey lohan.... yawnz..

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
i got a friends pin up board from my groups of pals,love them loads,a tamagochi from someone and dinner with my sec school friends(love ya all too)

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
being able to see the ugly side of men and the media industry!!!!!

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
boyish,sporty and a bit of rock and punk.. :)

33. What kept you sane?
my friends!!! books,sentosa and music..

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
i mentioned her too much in fact and i guess you people already knew!!!! KELLY CLARKSON!!!!!!

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
don't get me started....if i pinn my thoughts here i think i might be sued biggy time.

36. Who did you miss?
kelly clarkson? ahaha my friends...

37. Who was the best new person you met?
rachel,gerald and carrie..

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:
learn to love yourself and if anyone wants you to change for them. don't, because someone will come along eventually and love you for who you are!!!!!!!!!!

2005-01-04T07:09:00.000-08:00

raoul and christine

2005-01-04T07:04:00.000-08:00

christine and the phantom of the opera

i am sick of life

2005-01-04T01:08:00.000-08:00

i deleted the previous post due to too much information that is not meant for blog publishingi reckon.that post was only meant for real close friends and i don't want any tom dick or harry reading that post,so i end it's shelf life. i'm sorry and hope that you guys will understand as i am going through a semi rough time now.

what is the definetion of dating? can anyone tell me? does it mean:
a)going out with someone?
b)going out with soemone who likes you?
c)going out with someone whom you like?
or d) going out with soemone where feelings flow two ways?

i was wondering how people confirm the fact that 'oh we are dating' sometimes it strucks me as i don't even know what status are we. you know what i mean? i mean we are going out for movies,dinner etc but are we dating or is it just under the pure friendship and good company basis? this whole wondering about the ambigueous status is about the whole gay community' where guys goes out with one and other and not realising what 'they are' or what they really want.

i realise a lot of teenagers or young adults around my age are rather confused,they have this uncertainty about what they want in life. i know what i want,seriously... i want those things badly.. but do you know what you want? you want a short term love or a long and lasting one? do you want your dream careea or something that is more stable that makes you less happy at the end of the day because you don't know what you want. do you know what to major in the university? to persue your dream course or to lower your head and welcome yourself unwillingly to the course your greatest parents picked for you? do you know what you want?

maybe you guys are wondering why,as in all out of a sudden i was talking about dating and going out and then i took a sharp 90 degrees turn to what people wants. well don't you think people who knows what they wants tend to have a better and longer relationship and they are not confused about the status thingy which i touched on earlier.they're more stable,firm,and their feets are always on the ground. where have such people gone to? wallalulu land???

let's do a rundown of my friends who're doing really well in love life:
-scott(he knows what he wants and he tries hard,love him and he's having a hell of good tiem with his dear)
-jiahui(never seen her so gay and confident)
-agnes and benny(a shock though initially,good luck to you both and i bet they'll be in for a long run)
-lewis and bryan(god this is the longest running love story!! *blink*)
-rach(your's is like a dream came true plus the evil mother in law)
-clay n mark(woohoooo...one word... amazing)

envious,i really am... i'm still waiting... thought i met one recently(you guys should know who i'm talking about) i hope men in singapore will change for the better,how i wish every guy is like 'the hot chick's' billy...haix... deep sigh.... you'll know who is is and how he's like if you've watched the show.. hur hur...

i caught phantom of the opera with a friend for the second time... i think i fall in love with the movie,everything about it. when i watched it with jon,it never leave a huge impact untill i watch it again.. fantastic!!!!!!!!!! i love the show and i will get the soundtrack soon... i love minnie driver ahha and the leading lady of course;her name is emma!! hee hee..... alrighty,i'm elek-ing out!!!

goodbye 2004,looking back

2005-01-01T08:42:00.000-08:00

manx!! how fast time files,i can't believe 2004 is history,i mean that didn't even occur to me 2005 is here... gawd,prpbably 2004 was such a bad year that i don't feel like even welcoming 2005.. oh well here's a look back at what happened in 2004!!

backtrack @ 2004
-------------------
-went out with someone who's rich for a while,enjoyed a bit here and there but who cares?money don't matter to me,not very much.
-enrolled in a private college to do my A levels.
-invested in some business and end up losing a few thousand of dollars!!! +gawd+
-had a crush on my good friend's parnter!! (that's was the stupidest thing i've ever done)
-got to know some people better like lewis kor,bryan,clay,mark,ken,ray etc and still am loved my my sec school friends!! muakx!!
-got to know some really cool people brought me aid me along the way.(rach,gerald,benerd, edison,zach,cheryl,weiying,brian,letitia,ian,jon and the list goes on...
-carrie!! thank you for being such a good listener and thank you for taking time off your work to talk to me and get some big sista advice rolling.. hee.. muakx!!
-fell deeply in love with someone and got out of it,still hurts though;somtimes..... sigh!! that's the worst thing that happened to me this year i guess.... i'm still wrapping up my wounds,but i am ready to go!!
-met loads of jerks,really i mean they are never knew there's such a loadful of jerks in singapore!!! they're not fit to be man!!!
-wipped up a fantastic christmas lunch at gramp's place as usual..
-bought kelly's latest cd 'breakaway'

2004 is finally over,i hope 2005 will be a better year for me. may it be filled with love and happiness and may peace befall all!!! happy new year everyone!!!here's a song going out to everyone reading my blog and god bless and i love ya all!! :P

behind these hazel eyes
kelly clarkson

Seems just like yesterday,
you were a part of me
I used to stand so tall,
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight,
everything it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothing could go wrong

Now I can't breathe, no I can't sleep
I’m barely hanging on

Here I am, once again
I’m torn into pieces,
can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything,
opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright,
for once in my life
Now all that’s left of me,
is what I pretend to be S
o together, but so broken up inside

Cause I can’t breathe, no I can’t sleep
I’m barely hanging on

Here I am, once again
I’m torn into pieces,
can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you wont get to see the tears I’ve cried
Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me, then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you, it kills me now
No, I don’t cry on the outside anymore
Anymore

Here I am, once again
I’m torn into pieces,
can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you wont get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Here I am, once again
I’m torn into pieces,
can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you wont get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

oh my gawd!

2004-12-27T21:40:00.000-08:00

eyes,more eyes and more more eyes peered out of their watever desperatly scanning for hot,cute and young boys probably for a arranged hot sex if they both agree on the terms and coniditions or if not the 'oh,i think you're cute. can i know you and have your number thingy will surface within mintues or watever for hell i care!!

i went to yck pool with dear bernie yesterday and oh lord,i almost had a heart attacked right on the spot. there were so many pairs of eyes hunting for their prey and did i mention there were guys looking at the both of us!!! i can't stand people lookin at me seriously.i mean i know i wanna be a singer,radio dj cum actor in the future but this 'looking at me' thingy is not a good mental preperation for me and it is so not appropriate. i mean thank you for having the thoughts that i am cute or watever but just stop looking!!!!!

it's a totally different situation from a fan admiring her/her idol. this is like oh i want you in bed with me and how hod ur ass/bod is images are running through their bloody heads!!!!!!!!!! how fucking cool is that? and worse of all,a bloody and digusting 50 year old man got erected while looking at either me or bernie,well i would like to add i was tanning at that moment while bernie was reading his book!!!!! god,and bern saw his erected dick!!!!! i guess that man must have taken a dozen of viagra before he came to the pool to dunno do what!!!!!!

arrghx!!! DISGUSTING!!!!!!! oh also,i saw a mediacorp actor there hunting too,wanna know who,ask me!!!!

now,let's part with the disgusted mode our minds were in and welcome sadness.... i still think of him,A i mean... all to the courtesy of my first ex,T!!!!! can't stand him,T i mean....i shall control myself before i lash some really mean and harsh things about who you really are!! mwahhaa,oh well i shall leave that to my album and my biography.. mwahahaha.. sigh!!! memories,pictures.. haix...i am so called out of the black hole but i think my toes are in now.... i messgaed him on x mas but he didn't reply.... i guess.. hmm..... oh welkl i don't know what to do...

oh well there's J.we promised to take time and see how things goes,so let's see what time has instore for the both of us!!! well i gotta run but i'll leave you guys with my favourtie singer,kelly clarkson with a song taken from her latest album 'breakaway'. this song express what i am feeling deep inside and i would love to let it out and share it with you guys!! enjoy!!!!

hear me - kelly clarkson

Hear me, hear me

You gotta be out there
You gotta be somewhere
Wherever you are
I'm waiting...

Cause there are these nights when
I sing myself to sleep
And I'm hoping my dreams bring you close to me
Are you listening

Hear me, I'm crying out
I'm ready now
Turn my world upside down, find me
I'm lost inside the crowd, it's getting loud
I need you to see
I'm screaming for you to please
Hear me
Can you hear me

I used to be scared of letting someone in
But it gets so lonely, being on my own

No one to talk to
No one to hold me
I'm not always strong
Oh, I need you here
Are you listening

Hear me, I'm crying out
I'm ready now
Turn my world upside down, find me
I'm lost inside the crowd, it's getting loud
I need you to see
I'm screaming for you to please
Hear me

I'm restless and wild
I fall but I try
I need someone to understand (can you hear me)
I'm lost in my thoughts
And baby, I faught for all that I've got
Can you hear me

Hear me, I'm crying out
I'm ready now
Turn my world upside down, find me
I'm lost inside the crowd, it's getting loud
I need you to see
I'm screaming for you, to please
Hear me [4x]
Can you
Hear me [4x]
Can you hear me (oh, no)
Hear me [3x]

x mas

2004-12-27T06:36:00.000-08:00

hey guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!! merry christmas and a joyful new year ahead.. wooOoohoooOo... i had a great christmas eve,christmas and boxing day!! apart from being totally broke and penniless the last few days of 2004 seem to be pretty enjoyable.

i started my x-mas eve by meeting a dear friend of mine,carrie chong. i went down to pacific plaza to look for her and pass her her belated birthday gift and went shopping with her and rod. after saying our goodbyes and hugs,i headed down to meet bernie and ray to shop for groceries @ liberty market. you know what's the funny thing? they don't bloody carry baby carrots!!!!!!!!!! FAROUT!!

x mas day was awesomeness!!!!!! had loads of fun cooking for my family and friends.the good thing is they appreciate my time and effort spend on maiing those yummilicious spreadsoh well like i say i am getting lazier and lazier these days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! awesomeness...... i shall update on the horrors of tanning @yck pool tomorrow... i am lazy!!!!! baaabababaaaa.... ciaox

-just for fun-

2004-11-21T22:05:00.000-08:00

I'm worth $3,474,303.34! How much are you worth?

-just for fun-

2004-11-14T08:32:00.000-08:00

Which Guilty Gear X character are you?

-decoded -

2004-11-10T08:10:00.000-08:00

in an office,a clerk sometimes stamps files with the date that particular file was process. that date stamp had knobs for the clerk or humans to adjust to that particular date and stamp on that particular file or reciept,but sometimes they didnt get the date right before hitting right onto the piece of file or reciept. the results,sometimes a long misunderstanding and maybe a destruction in trust between the customer and company or what so ever.

turning the stamp knob to adjust the date is the job or the clerk or who so ever,it is their responsibility to make sure what is stamped is of correct information,but sometimes they don even check!!!! they sometimes never realise their mistakes and carry on with it as if they are addicted to nicotine!! the after effect,like we discussed in the previous paragraph.. what hell,try to figure out what i am saying you guys can,but i don't think anyone will..+evil laughter+

complex,what does this word means? 1,made up of many parts. 2,complicated,difficult. 3,a set of rep[ressed emotions and ideas which affects someone's behaviour. 4,an exaggerated reaction,an obession. this word,seems simple but yet not very does it? what in this world is complex? wanna know? no prize for guessing,relationships!!!!!!!!! something so simple such as love as in lovers,family or friends could turn out such despairing!!!! hmm,been through some really tough recessions recently.. oh god,don't get me started!!

had an ok day,laughed a lot though.... +smilex+ gotta know someone nice and maybe that's something to cheer about. thank you xiao lian,agnes,benny and felicia for that much laughter today!! i gotta run,feeling really tired and such,coll bananas ans stay funky!!!

-it'a all over now-

2004-11-02T21:07:00.000-08:00

it's over all over,everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we broke up!! yes we broke up!!!! haix... i don't know where to start, simply don't know,life just sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am tryin to rest the open wound now,hopefully the process will speed up somehow....i wanna say a few thank yous to people... here goes...
lewis kor,thank you so so so much!!! i never knew you're that sweet and you cared so much for me..thank you foe being there when i am hung at the lowest and when i need company,thank you. those endless movies,lunch and dinner,that vivid and teary 2 hours long phone chat will always be a memory that i will hold ever so dear to. i love you lewis kor and therefore thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
bryan,thank you for being a nice little prince!!(i am one too) you're such a sweetheart and you know i love you too... i don't know how to thank you but you know yeax,thank you for your constant care and concern you little slacker!!!!
mark and clay,you know i love the both of you!! and thank you for opening up doors for me!! you both are ,my living examples that love exists!!
henry,that rich boy!! thank you,thank you,thank you!!!! thank you for accompanying me for lunch and always on alert and always willing to lend out your helping hands when i need them!!thank you and god bless you and your partner!!!
cheryl,thank you for hearing me out,we shall resume our tanning soon alright!!!!!!!!! sorry and i love you!! muakx!!
edison and zach,thank you!! you guys played a tiny winny part but nevertheless thank you!! don't be childish and try to work things out like a grown up k!!! love ya both too!!
finally,carrie chong!! yes you.. thank you for being such an angel,being there for me and helping me through the toughest time.your advices and your concern is deeply appreciater and i am feeling so much better now but nevertheless i am still trying very hard!! thank you for your coffee and i promise you,next tiem when you see me,i'll be much much better yeax!! love you and muakx!!!!
i am trying very hard and i hope things will work out fine.... i wanna breakaway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

+i wanna watch resident evil+

2004-10-07T06:52:00.000-07:00

i wanna watch resident evil manx!!!!!!!!! i so so wanna watch real bad but my dar is in camp,and all my friends watched it already!!! what to do manx.... i seriously don't know who to watch it with.everyone seems to be busy with their own stuffs these days,work,bf/gf,school etc.. seriously...come to think of it i am quite free apart from my dar,books and my students along with those frequent sentosa visits...

was watching singapore idol today,well i just wanna say they did much better today compared that the previous episode;where the gorgeous and talented jeassea was suprisingly given the red card!!!!! darn,.i though orlinda did pretty well same goes to my personal favourties mia and daphine!! i am gonna place my bottom 3 votes on david yeo(i love david but,not this performance manx dude,sorry),christopher lee and as usual jerry ong!! who will be booted out this time round? i think it's a tie between jerry ong and christopher lee!!!!!!! just can't stand them,they just can't sing.... sorry...

thank you edison,for being such nice and vocal. i'll never give up on my dreams and i will work hard next year!! top 10 k!! hehx..... shal;l pull someone along with me to sentosa this saturday!!!! i'm so white and pasty!! gawd,guess my dar will faint upon seeing me in 3 weeks time if i don't get my golden brown skin back!!!! *grinz* shall make a trip to ikea soon with dar,wanna get some stuffs for my room and trying so hard to save more money.... shall not tell you why but oh well you'll know when you see me in like 2 years time!! mwahahhah!! :P

alrighty,i shall get my ass moving now as i speak.. gotta run!! below there'sa song and wuote that i wanna share with my readers,hope you guys love it.. :)

water - melanie c

"I've been waiting all my life to fly so high
Unbelievable, now the sun is shining in my life
Every day I want you more, we will endure
Anything they say, anything they throw away
Stronger now than yesterday

Feel like I could walk across the water
Heavenly, there's not a cloud up in the sky
And I know for you there'll never be another
So the rain can fall but I would still be dry

I am basking in the light, so wonderful
I wanna celebrate everything that brought me here today
As the ocean hits the shore, forever more
I am by your side, never cross the borderline
Love you till the end of the time

Feel like I could walk across the water
Heavenly, there's not a cloud up in the sky
And I know for you there'll never be another
So the rain can fall but I would still be dry

And baby when I think of you my heart is open
And I do believe that things will never change
Even though our words of love remain unspoken
I look in your eyes and know you feel the same

I wanna stay here forever
Your love is making me better
I wanna stay here forever
And love you today

I wanna stay here forever
Your love is making me better
I wanna stay here forever
(Yeah-yeah)

I wanna stay here forever
(I wanna stay here with you)
Your love is making me better
(Wanna love you everyday)
I wanna stay here forever
(Whoa-yea-yeah)

I wanna stay here forever
(I wanna stay here with you)
Your love is making me better
(I wanna love you everyday)
I wanna stay here forever
(Whoa-yea-yeah)"

-quote of the day-

"Love should be a tree,
whose roots are deep in the earth
but whose branches extend into heaven."
-Bertrand Russell

+exuberant,arrghxxxx+

2004-10-06T08:56:00.000-07:00

first and formost,i wanna say phew!! i've waited so long for i web music to activate my account. finally,the song is up,the song of great significant to me and my dar is finally up and going,running through the drums of my readers... yeahx,i love this song,such beautiful lyrics.actually i have got something to confess,this song accompanies me to sleep every single day and best of all i am not sick of it!! +kewl+

had a pleasent day,studying my literature;reading all sorts of notes on the importance of being earnest by oscar wilde,othello by mr shakespeare and the merchant tale by chaucer. studying is such a chore but oh well literature is my favourite subject,guess it speaks for itself.gotta get my 'A' for literature or else "xiu xinag wo take S paper!!!

i was flipping through the scholarship list and decided to try to get one!! my dar will be going to melbourn university to further his studies and A wants me to go with A so i guess it would be better for both me and A. one,we could spend more time together and two,i can study the stuffs that the australians are better verse in;like dramatic arts,psychology or language. might do law even so shall keep my fingers crossed!!!! heex...

arrghx,after 3 intensive days of missing my dar,A finally gave me a call today before A hit the bed.A's such a sweet cause A said sorry as A don't have much time for me now the fact that A's training hard in the XXXX and in addition A said he misses me!!! +awwwwwww+ sweet... i love my dar!!!!

oh well i gotta run but before i go here's a quote for all my readers... thank you guys for being such loyal sports!! +cheeror+ +cool bananax+

-quote of the day-

"When it rains it reminds me of you.
Although 200 miles away is so far,
I'll still always walk outside in the rain and kiss it just for you.
It never fails me.
The rain will always come and I'll always love you.
Next time you see a storm on the horizon,
please don't fear it's just heaven doing me the favor of taking you my kiss.
Walk outside and kiss the rain whenever you need me."

+our first month anniversary+

2004-10-04T22:59:00.000-07:00

ta dah!!!!!!!!! yeax today,as in the 5th of october is our (A and mine) 1st month anniversary... phew,just this one month alone,we've like experience sweetness,laughter,sadness and tough time without each other to hold on to. A is in the xxxx and therefore not much time for me,that is a barrier;at least we work things out and vua lah!! things turned out to be sweet and cool..

firstly,i wanna thank a few people who help me get through the toughest and the best time this one month;talking to me and advicing me on what to do and what i should and should not do.

god and goddess,angels and faires!! thank you for looking after me and protecting me all these while. thank you for being there when i need love,care,faith and courage most.thank you!! thank you for listening to my prayer and making it come true!! thank you for belssing me,A and my friends,all i can say is thank you and i love you guys so so so much!!!!!

clay,you're the sweetest bro i ever ever had,seriously. you're a darn bitch!!!! mwahahah!!thank you for being my pillar of when i am in need and for all those tears i shed;they'll will probably not come back(as i promise someone unless i am acting) you're such a dear and you'll always be someone special in my heart. thank you.

mark,the big and fierce looking dude. someone who scare me out of my wit and at the same time provides the best advice one can ever imagine. you're a tough guy and remember to have faith. we're both going through the same phrase right now,missing our loves!!! hmmx,well i am here for you ok!! remember have faith!!

bryan k,the sweet and rich huggable bear(p/s:we didn't hug). you words calm and soothe me to a state where i can almost stop my mind from wandering towards the wrong direction,talk to me about getting a detour. thank you for hearing me out on those endless conversations and such,comforting me,giving me a pat on my back. let's get some coffee soon ok!! huggies. don fool around plx thank you!!

cheryl,sorry i don have much time for you. i am pretty stressed up lately with A,school and work. hope you'll understand and let's hit our 2nd home soon yeax,and carry on with our heroic acts of saving the marine life!!!! :P

brian,just wanna say thank you for hearing me out on one of the faithful night.well i don't know what happened to you but i nevertheless wish you well... :)

last but not least... my love,A. without you,2004 would be a year full of sadness and aimless navagations. without you,there will not be chad,as who i am now. you gave me the strength to wake up every morning,to go through my afternoons,to strive hard for our dream university and to earn and save more money for our future utilities.you make me feel so fortunate and every single day,when you are not with me i think and fall for you more and more.... below is our theme song and a quote dedicated to you and i'll end today's entry with the words, I LOVE YOU!!!!!!

come what may - ewan mcgregor and nichole kidman

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I love you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing?
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time

Come what may, come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you.

And there's no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide
But I love you (I love you)
until the end of time

Come what may, come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Oh, come what may
Come what may
I will love you, I will love you

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place

Come what may, come what may
I will love you until my dying day

quote dedicated to my dar:

"If I die before you
then my love will linger forever around you.
And when you change your mind,
and wish to be with me,
I will greet you at heaven's gates with the same love and the same loving arms we knew in life."

+i'm so in love+

2004-09-25T19:28:00.000-07:00

finally,i have found my love!! after 1 and a half years of waiting,that's hella long!! not like i have never datedanyone before A but my my A is so different!!!! A is beautiful!! seriously and i mean it...i love A so so so much...... i'll always remember the 5th of sep!!!!! hmmmxx... +sweet+

we had our first walls of barrier yesterday,he said he was stress and all and he needs some time alone,i mean it's fine,well i'll the world's dumbest male if i am not sad or what,so yes i am affected by it;and i am rather down,sad and worried..... i wanna type a whole lot of stuffs but i guess that's between me and him oh well..hmmx,i am not feeling too well definetly but i am havin huge faith in us,i prayed the whole night can you believe it? while i was sleepin too? yes!!!! alright,that's about it!! sorry guys!!!

+ant-honey+

2004-09-07T22:23:00.000-07:00

hey peeps!!!! arrgx,i am so screwedmanx,cuz i can't update my blog from my desktop, cause there's some stupid software problem that's scewing up my whole com. Darnx!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Suddenly ah these past few days life has been a lot lot lot lot lot more sugary! thanks to the honey-ant... the meatball... i will never forget what happened on sunday. it's like, i can't explain what took over but then it's like something so simple yet beautiful like the birth of a new star... imagine, after a big bang, dust started to swirl around the sun, and then miraculously beautiful planets start forming. Do you know that recently 4 new planets were discovered? i wonder if the planetary alignment had to do with anything that happened on sunday. Hmmz..... i wonder...hehehexxxx+grinx+

i'm at a friend's housenow,shall not bother him any more,cause hmm,my friend is being such a sweet...firstly, by allowing me to tann at his place and also he updated the first paragraph for me.. how nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok gotta go!!!!!!! i miss my dar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

+breakaway,part 3 - leading me on+

2004-09-01T09:32:00.001-07:00

it's been more than a year and a half since i got myself attached to someone,emotionally i mean. somehow,i think i have long forgotten how it feels like to be emotionally attached to someone.the feeling of bearing the same ring,couple wear,sharing the same bed or a particular activity together.this feeling seems to be a million light years away from me only to be visualize not to be realise.

a lot of people said this to me,i think you are attractive,nice character,looks relatively cute and all,it should be easy for you to find someone you love and such. i laughed out loud!! yeah right,my ass!!! it's not like i have not found anyone. people whom i had my eyes on,i had over the year but these guys love to do something to me,vicious i somewhat think. they love to lead me on!!! remember M,N yes i am talking about them. well M didn't do anything much really,at least he was kind enough to tell me the truth and not hurt me;for that i thank him but N,he was not that kind to do so!!!

i knew N around the second half of last year.we didn't meet up,or chat on the phone.we were just purely sms pals! somehow,the way we met was more of a coincidence. i called ruiwen over to fill up a survey for me somewhere in the first quarter of the year 2004,he came along with his ex-bfr and N,unknown to me i don't know thast N was that N whom i knew. "tee tee" my cellphone peeped,'a message' i called out. to my surprice,it was N.it's been quite sometime since he last texted me rather shocked i was at that point of time.he was me if i was helping my friend to recurit some people for survey and all,strange i thought to myself and javin who was there with me,nevertheless i replied him.

after a few messages thrown here and there,finally,the person i saw with ruiwen was the N i knew. N is soooooooo cute i gushed,N the perfect gentlemen a lover could ask for,N is such perfect seriously,in terms of character and such,and not forgetting the bonus N carried,the killer looks! +swoons+ we started messaging each other everday,exchanging messages all the way from morning till night,sometimes a little hugs and kisses flyin in and out of the messages,we even chatted almost every other day. tired sometimes cause N was havin his exams at that point of time,studied till late N did;say like 1am but i waitied for N nevertheless so that we could chat(in case you don't know i have school early in the morning).

the day at cafe cartel and the korean movie the mirror was out first 'so called night out together'.it was the first and the last,never did the second one took place although N did promise. somehow,someway,N managed to break all contact with me say towards the end of his exams.N didn't reply my messages,answer my calls etc! hurt was i,extremly. cheryl was there when i used her phone to call N, said he would call me back but never did!! =( cheryl was right,N is like HER BRYAN manx!!!!!!

i hate people who toyed with someone else's heart!! you raise someone's hope high and left him hanging there after you found someone nice and such!! bullshit,what crap,if you don't wanna get into a relationship or don't like that person tell him/her!!!!! irresponsible creatures you people are!!!!! and N you are such a jerk!!! well i met someone new recently,that person seems sincere,perhaps a million time more sincerity that someone posesses than all those guys i have met so far! shame on you guys!!! duh! for a tribute to my mini biography series "breakaway" i will publish a letter below.this letter was sent to N after his exams and it took me hell of a time to type it and hell lot of courage to send it!! hope you guys enjoyed the mini biography series and more coming soon,i promise!

the letter address to N (unedited)

"Hey there,

How have you been? I hope you are doing really fine. How’s your exams and when will the results being out? Tell me ok? This mail is gonna be long, bear with it ok?

Recently, it seems really long since I last receive something from you; be it a call or sms… so I’ve decided to fill you in on some of the stuffs that have been going on. I’m like really stress because my mid year is drawing nearer and nearer.( heart thumbs!!) also I recently went for a singtel commercial audition or something along the line. If I am lucky enough to be in the short listed ;I will be appearing in a commercial(small part only la!! Tee hee) pretty excited about it. (keep fingers crossed)

Seems really long since we last chatted, what have you been up to? In addition it’s like really long since I last receive a sms from you. I was really happy to see your reply on Friday, really happy but I tried calling you on Friday night and Saturday night but no avail.. Can I ask you something, are you like avoiding me????? Ok here comes the part, I like you, I really really like you; in other words I am interested in you, seriously. I wrote something for you, wanted to pass it to you but I don’t know is it possible now (there’s a gift inside too)

Since the time I saw you at saffron hill, coincidence maybe, I take it as a sign. So I decided to try because you’ll never know what is gonna to happen. But to my dismay, you are attached at that point of time. So I drew myself back. Now that you’re single, I decided to give a second shot. I know I don’t know you well enough,, which I will take time to know. From the start, I can really see that you’re a real nice dude and the one that someone whom one can bring home, seriously.

We chatted like every other day, which I looked forward to everyday after a head and tiring day of work in school. Your voice and laughter just eliminates my fatigue and your messages had the power to produce the rarely seen curve lips during a overly-stressed day! Seriously, I don’t know how you feel about me. I seriously don’t know. Maybe your lack of messages and unwillingness to pick up my calls means something(maybe I’m stupid) I seriously need you to tell me. are you avoiding me or really busy? I seriously need to know.

I don’t mind waiting for an answer. (made up my mind when I know that you’re attached) but a message from you would means much or perhaps a call. I want to tell you how I feel in person, or through the phone but I never had the chance. If I sent you this mail, I hope I’ll still have a chance to tell you how I feel on the phone of face to face. I’ve been a little sad this past week. Yep.. but I’m positive yea..:)

I believe in trying, because you’ll never know what will happen. N, I hope you understand. I am not being desperate or wat. I have been waiting to tell you this since last Friday but but but…. One particular song inspires me to try, it’s yong qi by fish leong. I love that song and I hope you know how I feel; because that song describes my feelings perfectly. I hope we can take things slow and learn more about each other. I know you just got yourself out of a relationship and I don’t wanna force you but I hope that we can still chat and you know sent nice little message or hang out together…. I really do…

Hope you’ll take time to read this mail and I hope you do give me a reply or even call me ok… I am just expressing myself and hope with time we will be able to take it to the next level… miss you lots!!

Love,chadxx"

+breakaway,part 2 - triangular love+

2004-08-31T07:11:00.000-07:00

"first love is consider the most memorable love in our lifetime,it's a virgin trying to work things out;embarrassment and quarrels are just a initial bite on a shortcake,sweet but doesn't grow on you in teh long run" my first love had something to do with two timing. oh well,not exactly to that extend of bringing racking up the past but to touch on the topic two timing,it's something that scares the hell out of me!!

this may,i fall in love with my friend's partner,W,yes that friend mention in breakaway part 1. no one is perfect,i am too a victim of love or shall i say crushes!! i do like W a huge deal back then seriously but now to think of it,i am happy that i am out of it cause i have been talking to soemone whom i discover is way way much worth my love(let's not talk about this now). i admit it's hell guilty facing my friend after they broke up beacuse my friend kind of knew it already(he knew my love for his partner) it's nothing glamerous,but oh well,that's parts and parcels of life!!

two timing,i've been through it as a third party(i am so out of it!!),and a victim(i can't think of a be better word,it's nothing pitiful though),cheryl being a third party too and gerald a multi party. i wonder,what is the wonder of timing more than just one fellow? what's the f****** kick? if you don't like your current girlfriend of boyfriend just go straight to them and tell them how you f****** feel!! cheryl,you must let go of bryan,accend u right to the top and leave you hanging down there like a kite,he's in total control;play your game now or just f*** him and shut him out of your world!! first by deleting his number!! +grinz+

two timing,well i had my fair share of it and never shall i step into the unglamerous world of two timing.before i talk about something else i hereby have some messages that i wanna get across.firstly,if you love someone,fight for him because you'll never know that person might just be the one for you. second,if you're the one who's being betray,don't make or pity yourself.you should stand up and live a better life rather than blame the whole world!! don't blame the third party instead blame your partner for not being able to hold on and remain faithful!! third,if it's meant to be it will be!!! trust me,you don't wanna go around sobbing and sobbing for a worthless piece of shit!!!!! +tee hee+

here's asong from tori amos called stand up.the lyrics is beautiful,please pay attention to it. stand up for you and the people you love!!! i'll be back!!!

stand up - tori amos

there's love in the corners
and love down the straight highway
there's danger in the outskirts of town
and in what you don't say
you're either sinking or thinking
the dark's your romance
or a special one's shining a light on a chance
that it's all very worthy to ache
in the middle of the night

sometimes i can't sleep
i can't keep all these feelings at bay
i am rage, i am sorrow and grief
all alone in my way
i know humor and heartbreak
and people are life
if i keep my eyes closed
i'll be open to strife
because the powers that be send their love
in the middle of the night

i'm gonna stand up
and let myself be counted for
stand up now
i've got my one life
and what's it to amount to
if i don't learn how
to love you and love myself beside you
mix the gentle and proud
i want to love life
the vision in the window told me --stand up.

to my mother my father
my witnesses live in my jagged heart
that for years has been running like fire
as though that was its partfrom lover to cover and ocean to skyfrom desert to mountain and promise to lie
i can say that i've prayed to forgiveness
in the middle of the night

i'm gonna stand up
and let myself be counted for
stand up now
i've got my one life
and what's it to amount to
if i don't learn how
to love you and love myself beside you
mix the gentle and proudi want to love life
the vision in the window told me --stand up.

now i can see love in the woman and love in the man in myself
i see how most people just ache to be good
at expressing themselves
and i wish i could tell you just right what i mean
about the light shining down,
if i'd only come cleanbut for now i live with myself
in the middle of the night

i'm gonna stand up
and let myself be counted for
stand up now
i've got my one life
and what's it to amount to
if i don't learn how
to love you and love myself beside you
mix the gentle and proud
i want to love life
the vision in the window told me --stand up.

+breakaway,part 1-;disappointing drifts'.a mini biography of times in 2004+

2004-08-30T09:51:00.001-07:00

"i spread my wings and i learn how to fly,i'll do what it takes till i touch the sky,make wish,take a chance,make a change and breakaway" the line above is taken from kelly clarkson's new song breakaway co written by avril lavigne. these past few weeks had been amazingly unpropitious almost fell into this black hole that had been creating this vortex around me,seriously never had i been through such convolution!! i am so relieve that i managed to look at life from another perspective.

i've learn something about friendship.some friends come,stick with you for a moment,get close to you and leave you for another group of people.some friends grow old together with you,jsut like a lifelong partner/soulmate.what i am trying to say is treasure everyone who comes into your life,no matter they left a huge or small print in your heart,it does matter because sometimes once they go,they might never come back.

i was a matter of fact angry and disappointed with a friend.ok he sorta left and i mean leaving for another group of people which i believe someone he loves is in that group. never had i seen such speedy reaction in his change,probably,larger surface area for reacting at that point of time when his heart was open not forgetting a chalet;where lots of desperate hungry wolves were running around sourcing for a weak and helpless heart to swallow before spiiting it out after toying with it.(kids are always kids but i don't know if they're together) i don't know why it created such a flare in me probably i was there for him when he needs me,seriosuly i always was but he wasn't there for me when i need him!! how sad,let's sing a ballad? what shall we sing?

i remembered once he was crying over the cell and i promise him that no matter what happens i will always be there for him no matter what,i will always be there. he said thank you and i will too but look where he is now? there used to be phonecalls everyday,messages everyday,it's more or less routined. people might just think that we have something on rather than to whom he was attached at that point of time. i seriosuly missed those days where he would camp in my house and chat till wee hours,how i would love to revive those days but soemtiems things changed and metamorphosized and it never turn back to it's original state.probablt some they might come back or they might not.but who cares? there's still miss c,wy,javin in the clique. my secondary school friends whom i love so so much and my school mates and people whom got to love and whom i love..i mean i love him sitll and my promise will never take a stumble but i just couldn't accept how things changed ever since that very night at a friend's chalet.

that very night at my friend's chalet was one of the worst day of 2004!! why>? allow me perform the enlightenment.one,i felt really sad for my friend,cause he suffered a breakup.two,i feel sorry for my friend's stead,he was really sad.(i liked my friend's stead but i can't do anything)three,i saw soemone in the chalet,N. remember him?he was there,i was as surprise,he looked my way,my eyes chosed not to aligned. my mind worked it's way through the past 8 months.it suckx!four,my friend abandoned me for his new gropus of friends.vividly,i could remember the smell of the tress emmited at that point of time,i sat gingerly on the top of a monkey bar hidding my disappointment.such such such words came out from him:'i don't wanna stay here,i wanna go accompany "xx they all/his new found chalet friends" manz,i feel so great!!

ever since that very faithful day,somehow i know that i will lose him to whoever whatever i don't have that strength i used to have to help people around me as i used to,i am a human too,i need love and care!!! recently soemone told me,chad you'rr an xxxxxx child.i was like you can see my aura? he replied confidently,yes.because i am one too. i was shocked, my jaw almost touched the floor.i was nevertheless afraid of what he was goin to say in the next few minutes too. he said,we always help people,we give too much such that soemtiems people don't understands us. we're very lonely people,when people needs us,we'll be there but not vice-cersa. i was stunned and nonplused.i nodded in agreement.it's my pleasure meetin him seriosuly. hey big brother thanks for all your advice and i love your sidney aka a female golden retreaver,she's so cute!!!

well things are better off like as from now. i've gotten to know a few people and especially A. well my friend did moved on,better and swifter than i and his ex did. his ex(someone i used to like a lot,it's history.ain't worthy) moved on too,catching his pace i see people moved on so should i. someone told me,with your looks and character you can kill a nice number of xxxx and they'll be at my mercy.i was yeah right,still i think i couldn't do that cause i am not a flirt!!!! +grinz+ well somehow within this week,me and my friend managed to talk and chat on msn,some stuffs he wanna do eg callin me didn't realise.oh well,let's just say i might one day get out of his life and never come back anymore,who knows this day might draw or never will.... depends on how goddess and god arrange this. i guess life is just full of changes,ups and downs,we need to accept soem of the facts presented to us and push it down our throat even if we loathe the smell/taste or whatever.remember,if you're in my shoes;"stand strong and think twice before you make your move,at the end of the day,you live for you and the people who loves you not those people whom broke their promises and failed to be there!!"

well,this mini biography will run through what happened in 2004. what changed my thinking and perspective of life and what made me a better person.we learn everything new everyday,so let's start leraning from one another. by the way,this is a real life event encountered by me and people around me. this is a mini biography and my writting relates to my deepest emotions. if you don't like the way i put things or such,please leave a comment and post a feedback,i will get back to you shortly with a rebutt. like i say,this is my blog and i write what i am feeling not what i should write to please others! i am who i am and this is me!!! therefore i am not afraid of offending others(there's no one to offend too hehx),if you think i offended you or something,we can see each other in court. gracias,and watch out for part 2 coming up real soon!! =P

2004-08-29T09:22:00.000-07:00

on the bus,actually i think i look bad in this pic.... hmmx...... it;s been so long since i last took a bus!!! +grinz+

2004-08-29T09:19:00.000-07:00

me and yiding on a bus to east coast!!!!!! the main purpose is to allow you guys to have a good look at my "i am very proud of it" tann!!!!!!!!

chad's new look

2004-08-29T09:11:00.000-07:00

i am very very very satisfied with my tann!!!!!! it's gorgeous,err hmm,now i feel like a prince;someone fetch me my towel!! mwahahaah.... +grinz+ went out to watch 13 goin on 30 with my friend yi ding. i shall do an update on that show tomorrow,now for a preview,i shall let you guys take a look at my tann mwahahhahha!!!!!

lonesome night/lyrics of the day-raindrops will fall/quote of the day

2004-08-24T07:19:00.000-07:00

oh god!! god knows how long since i last updated my very own blog.somehow there's a feeling deep inside me saying,"somethings will never be the same." seriously i think so too. somehoe throughout these years those who have been with me thick and thin,through good and bad times;i appreciate yor presences and i genuinely thank you. my sec school pals,cheryl and such people thanks yeax..

these two weeks are hell of aordeals! assignments,targets to be met,teaching liabilities,friends and so so so much more stuffs for me to handle. seriously,i have never been so tired in my life and this is the first time the word tired has hit me hard!! i think i would rather suffer cheryl or jaihui's series of forceful slaps maybe i'll op for jos's slaps,bigger biceps;mightier slaps that may do justice to such a lowly human inhabitant on gala's land!!!!!

lyrics of the day

raindrops will fall - tamyra grey

There's a time for every star to shine
And a place for every dream to see the light
When you have everything
You don't need another reason to be something

Hold on, and look to your faith
Can't let nobody, nobody get in your way

[Chorus]
I walked through the fire
Fought through the raging storm
Til I found the peace
That's inside of me
I've got to be strong
I stand for my dreams
I was made for this moment
Take me as I am
Or nothin at all
I'll keep holdin on
Raindrops will fall

Haunting echoes from a careless word
You'll never know how much they hurt
Dreams are precious don't you know
But they are so hard to follow

Hold on and you can look to your faith
Don't let nobody, nobody get in your way

[Chorus]
They're falling down on me but the sun is gonna shine
I was taught not to run away
Cuz raindrops will always fall on your face
When it seems like all hope is gone
Gotta get through the storm
Before you can see the dawn
This is all I am
This is all I know
And I won't never ever let go
No I won't let go

[chorus]

twisting world

2004-08-13T01:04:00.000-07:00

he sat there all alone in that dark narrow corner of his room. his mind and heart spoke and felt for him.he brought his knees forward so that he could rest his chin on them,he warpped his arms around his head;a very defensive gesture it is..... "what's wrong? his mind ask him." his heart weakly replied "i am tried,really tired..." no one heard his cry,his screams.no one felt his sorrow,those souless eyes;without spirit,such dullness,such pinch.who cares? he tried hinting,he cried but no one came to his rescue,no one.... his tears streaked down from his once fearless face,the once dried river canels resurracted with the help of his tears. a song was on the repeat mode,it goes: " give a little bit of love for your people but save a little love for yourself,have a little bit of trust in the way you feel and see your heart melt, send a little of hope down the airway,find a little of gold it might help,you've got to have a little of faith in everything you loe and let your heart help" melanie c's vocal posesses such sadness.he felt the song,he felt is ...why he repeated and repeated weakly throught tears. such a strong army of friends around him but non came to his rescue,none.he wondered if he asked for too much,he wondered if his friends ever loved him,if anyone ever loved him. some friend found new home to dwell in,some found new love to carry their journey,some found new jobs,to carry on their faith.but he's ll alone. a dancer he saw suddendly dancing in the dark,she danced and dance,without fear,she braved throught the darkness.such beauty,such confidence,such slick moves. he wondered.. he wondered.......... ...... ............. ........ ...............

lyrics of the day

melt- melanie c

"Caught in the eye of a storm
Where we are born
No truth is spoken
Seems so long ago
And you really don't know
How you got broken
Feel me

Give a little bit of love for your people
But save a little bit of love for yourself
Have a little bit of trust in the way you feel
And see your heart melt

Send a little bit of hope down the airwaves
Find a little bit of gold, it might help
You've got to have a little bit of faith in everything you know
Then let your heart melt

Now is your time to rise
The one you can fly
I know why you sent me
Feel me

Give a little bit of love for your people
But save a little bit of love for yourself
Have a little bit of trust in the way you feel
And see your heart melt

Send a little bit of hope down the airwaves
Find a little bit of gold, it might help
You've got to have a little bit of faith in everything you do
Then watch you heart
Feel your heart melt

Send a little bit of hope down the airwaves
Find a little bit of gold, it might help
You've got to have a little bit of faith in everything you know
Then let your heart
Feel your heart melt"

i need to breakaway

2004-08-10T23:14:00.000-07:00

these few days had been tough,some crazy things happened and a lot of disappointments and stuffs of such stuffs jumbled up in all... seriously,i felt heavy,very heavy,it's like a lot of things are pressing on me;school,friends,work,seriously i am happy or shall i say considered lucky that i am still the very bit sane!!!!!

i mean sometimes i guess is it too much to ask a friend for a call of hello and all??? i don't know.. some crazy revelations kinda unfolded;i am very shocked very very shocked.. singapore idol? i just don't wanna see myself on tv,yeah cause i didn't make it in to the 3rd round! sheesh!

towering dark clouds loomed over the entire city,somehow the afternoon sky seem threatening,dark and ominous.mother wind howled with enormous speed within seconds;leaves of the gigantic trees ruffled and undulate to an angle that drove wits of passers by.the first sound of thunder clasped within seconds,a blot of lighting striked across the dark sky,it's confluence and it's distributeries did justice a city agonizing for light;for a split second the city saw brightness. screams and fear were detected and sense respectively,somehow a strom might be on the list of a special appearence. what obliteration it would cause!people screaming and scrambling for help,almost dead when a sixty year old was thrown thirty feets by a oncoming "flying tree",cars thrown aside af if there were of featherlight,kids stood on 4's rolled into a ball;recaling what their teacher told them when in a lightning prone area,but unknown to them the tornado might be just behind them to give them a lift up to heaven probably closer to hell. "paging for mr keith"keith sood there motionless think of what his mind was projecting.somehow he was of from his very own busy,hectic world.such melachonic,such sorrow,such fear. dear keith,needs a rest he does...... soon he will........
+written by chad+

had a great day/lyrics of the day/quote of the day

2004-08-07T09:21:00.000-07:00

hey guys!! soooooooooo sorry been really busy,didn't have much time to update my blog,i promise i will try to make time k!! +tee hee+

firstly i had a fantastic day!! +wooOOOohOOOOoo+ met ian in the afternoon. we caught a movie tittle the notebook;a novel written by nicholas sparks.the show was great,kinda mellow and all but nevertheless,romantic and touching. the show;as you know is about love,finding one's happiness and true love. well we'll never know,what will happen,so treasure every single mintue or day you have with the person you love!! haiz.. .. ... .. .. ..... how i wish........ ....... .......

met my secondary school friends in the evening. a special day it is 08/08 every year... mwahahahah!!! it's our friends' day larx!!!!! hehx.. really enjoyed myself,i love you guys soooOOOoooo much. there was such joy in catching up with you guys.thank, you guys for such a joyous day;when half of my mind was on something else;being all alone tomorrow. haiz,nevertheless thanks...

well initially cheryl and i made a pact to head down to esplanade to watch the fireworks on sunday and monday but but but... who knows she gotta leave for malaysia with weiying,so duh right????

edison,hmmx well seems that his new friends could provide him more comfort i guess.... +shurgs+ my health's giving me some problems too haiz.... oh well.... hate it larx..

let me just throw these antagonistic stuffs behind for a moment and say THANK YOU to all those who kept me company!!! you guys made my day...

lyrics of the day

i'll be waiting for you - soluna

Can't you see?
You mean everything to me
You're in my heart
You've touched my soul
You're all I’ll ever need
And it hurts so bad
Not to have you by my side
Nothing's right, I cry all night
Just waiting for your call

I'll be waiting for you 'til the sun don't shine
I will wish on a star 'til I make you mine
I'll be dreaming all night that you're by my side
I'll be waiting for you
I'll be waiting for you 'til the end of time
Can't you see that I need you in my life?
You're all that I want I can't deny
I’ll be waiting for you
I'll be waiting for you

Love is hard
When the distance seems so far
We were both inseparable
And now we're torn apart
I refuse to try
To love someone new
'Cause what we shared is heavenly
Like a rose that's in full bloom

I'll be waiting for you 'til the sun don't shine
I will wish on a star 'til I make you mine
I'll be dreaming all night that you're by my side
I'll be waiting for you
I'll be waiting for you 'til the end of time
Can't you see that I need you in my life?
You're all that I want I can't deny
I’ll be waiting for you
I'll be waiting for you.....

You made me,
So happy
I never thought I’d lose you
Your love was,
And still is
The only thing I run to...

I'll be waiting for you 'til the sun don't shine
I will wish on a star 'til I make you mine
I'll be dreaming all night that you're by my side
I'll be waiting for you...
I'll be waiting for you 'til the end of time
Can't you see that I need you in my life?
You're all that I want I can't deny
I’ll be waiting for you
Every minute every hour i'll be waiting for you.....

quote of the day

"A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil;
but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small,
silly presents every so often - just to save it from drying out completely."
-Pam Brown

2004-07-31T10:23:00.000-07:00

a kelly clarkson autograph which i managed to get it onl;ine at some fan base as a member,so yeax.. cool huh???

disappointed

2004-07-31T09:56:00.000-07:00

today's entry is a bit special i guess,no lyrics/song of the day and quote of the day.. oh well,sorry.. i am not feeling distinctively good!!! had a rather rough day though.. bad day to begin with,some major things happened and vah boom..

though my day would get better untill i saw N,well he looked at me from the window i was like haiz...... oh well,i tihnk somehow i still do miss him a little.... sorry argx.. as if meetin N after such a long time wasn't enough,someone just had to make me so disappointed larx.... haiz..... i don't wanna talk about it now,sorry.. feeling really bad,i don't know why. seriously,i feel like taking a break from all these things yeax.

maybe i should pay my uncle a visit in japan and perth, will choose one i guess..... or maybe i should jsut study hard and get a scholarship and leave singapore!!!!!!!!!! yeax,maybe yeax.. oh well i don't know yeax..........

i better go before my negativity infuse the whole of blog spot!!!!!!
+no tee hee+

=uncool bananaz=

2004-07-30T09:01:00.000-07:00

ruben,fantasia,diana and my favourite kelly clarkson @ the recent american idol 3 finale performing the impossible dream. love kelly,so prettyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!! + tee hee+

2004-07-30T08:46:00.000-07:00

my idol stuffs!!!!!!! virgin publish!!!!

sick/lyrics of the day-born to make you happy/quote of the day

2004-07-30T08:23:00.000-07:00

hey guys,had a utterly bad day today,mainly due the splitting headache and flu that i have been havin since tuesday!!!! kudos to non other than letitia!!!!+tee hee+

really tired now,dunno why? and rather pessimistic recently am i..... haiz... well will post some pictures of mine and all yeax... so enjoy k, nitex!!!

=cool bananaz=

lyrics of the day

born to make you happy - britney spears

oh my love

Oh yeah ...

Oh yeah...

I'm sitting here alone up in my room
and thinking about the times that we've been through
(oh my love)
I'm looking at a picture in my hand
Trying my best to understand
I really wanna know what we did wrong
with a love that felt so strong
if only you were here tonight
I know that we could make it right

[chorus]
I don't know how to live without your love
I was born to make you happy
Cause you're the only one within my heart
I was born to make you happy
Always and forever you and me
That's the way our life should be
I don't know how to live without your love
I was born to make you happy

I know I've been a fool since you've been gone
I better give it up and then carry on (oh my love)
Cause living in a dream of you and me
Is not the way my life should be
I don't wanna cry a tear for you, so forgive me if I do
If only you were here tonight
I know that we could make it right

[chorus]
I don't know how to live without your love
I was born to make you happy
Cause you're the only one within my heart
I was born to make you happy
Always and forever you and me
That's the way our life should be
I don't know how to live without your love
I was born to make you happy

Oh yeah ...
I'd do anything
I'd give you my world
I'd wait forever to be your girl
Just call out my name (just call out my name)
And I will be there (and I will be there)
Just to show you how much I care

alright
I was born to make you happy
yeah, yeah ...
Oh yeah, yeah

[chorus]
I don't know how to live without your love
I was born to make you happy
Cause you're the only one within my heart
I was born to make you happy
Always and forever you and me
That's the way our life should be
I don't know how to live without your love
I was born to make you happy

Oh no, no
I was born to make you happy
Oh yeah, oh oh yeah

Always and forever you and me
That's the way our life should be
I don't know how to live without your love
I was born to make you happy

quote of the day

"True love cannot be found where
it does not exist,
nor can it be denied where it does."
--Anonymous

feels so good/lyrics of the day:breakaway/quote of the day

2004-07-29T23:49:00.000-07:00

i had a great day today i guess apart from those geography tutorials which i had to complete. handed up lect 3 of hydrology (groundwater tutorial) to mr gordon today,felt pretty good i guess. completed,water balance,river discharge and nearly complete drainage pattern tutorials of the massive core topic hydrology today!!!! phew!!! dying soon......

something err embarrassing happened today i guess.. not to me and brian larx but to soemother girl who sat beside us!!!! burr burrrrr...... ask me urself k.... hehx... lazy to type actually... wanted to post the picture of the fighting swords that we elves uses.i want them badly.. hehx......

oh well,gonna sleep soon i guess, really tired larx.. i didn't take a nap yeax unlike someone who took a darn long nap and kept me waiting for like an hour!!!! choleric am i!!!!!!!!!!!! burrr burrrr... +tee hee+

oh well , i think i better run yeax,below is a new song from my favourite female and american idol kelly clarkson. this song is taken from the movie my princess diary 2. enjoy!!

=cool bananaz=

lyrics of the day

breakaway - kelly clarkson

Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall
downI just stared out my window
Dreaming of a could-be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray (I would pray)

Trying not to reach out
But when I'd try to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I pray (I would pray)
I could breakaway

[Chorus:]
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I loved
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane, far away (I will)
And breakaway

[Chorus:]
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I loved
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging around wild indoors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway

I'll spread my wings
And I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk
Take chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway

quote of the day

"Every minute I spend with you is like being in heaven and looking in an angel's eyes."

2004-07-29T08:58:00.000-07:00

legolas's fighting knives!! kewl right!! +tee hee+ i want that!!!!!! it's an elf's pleasure to hold that ok!! +tee hee+

flu buggie/lyrics of the day-on the horizon/quote of the day

2004-07-28T08:17:00.000-07:00

flu bug reportedly caught up with our elf prince,chad tan aka beren telrunya!! okokok... i'll stop before anyone pukes yea!! +tee hee+ oh well, thanks to letitia dear,she managed to pass her flu bug to me i guess.. a bit feverish now,hope it won't reach great heghts yeax!!!

rather great day i guess apart from fiiling up my class duspan with tissues and sneezing all the way throught out my literature and econs lecture.... cool huhx?? had my daily dose of milk and mcdonals so everything is cool i guess.

met brian for a bit of studyin..did my lit essay and pumped down a little bit of geo!!to conclude ,i did 2 lit essays down 9 more lit essaies to go and one geo tuitorail;upon completion. reached home just minutes ago,had a little chat with our miss so fortunate;cheryl han!!!! so sweet larx.. i am jealous yet hapopy for you!!!! +tee hee+

i guess we both are happy today huh! read cheryl's blog and found her most recent entry about love rather or shall i say extremly meaningful,beyond comparable!!! really like what the author said about love and pain and all.... so true lorrrrrrrxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxiiieeeee.....

well gotta go ,but before i go this song below by melanie C describes the feeling of being in love,i guess it's time we should look on the brighter side yeax..... +tee hee+

=coolz bananaz=

lyrics of the day

on the horizon - melanie C

People see different things
When they look on the horizon
Do you see dark clouds rolling in fast
Cos baby they ain't gonna last
And I can't see anybody else
I can't stop looking at you
Take this dream and make it true

*All I see is love, sweet love
On the horizon, oh yeah
Just one look in your deep brown eyes
And baby I'm flyin

This world could be so hard to take
Before I found you, I almost stopped trying
To see the good instead of the bad
But your hearts so true, that baby I'm cryin
And every single time we meet
I learn what love is for
It's taking less and giving more

*All I see is love, sweet love
On the horizon, oh yeah
Just one look in your deep brown eyes
And baby I'm flyin

And baby I don't wanna see pain in your eyes
Cos you're the one that sets me free
There's nothing in this world that can hurt usIf it's you and me,
hey-yeah-yeah

*All I see is love, sweet love
On the horizon, oh yeah
Just one look in your deep brown eyes
And baby I'm flyin

All I see is love, sweet love
On the horizon, oh yeah(All i see is love on the horizon)
Just one look in your deep brown eyes
And baby I'm flyinI-I'm,
flyin baby(All I see is love on the horizon)
I-I'm, flyin baby

All I see is love,
sweet love
On the horizon, oh yeah
Just one look in your deep brown eyes
And baby I'm flyin

quote of the day

"Love is patient, love is kind.
Love never fails.
These three remain:
faith, hope and love.
But the greatest of these is Love."

Saint Paul

i stirred/lyrics of the day-life got cold/quote of the day

2004-07-26T07:47:00.000-07:00

was feeling okay today.. i guess there's nothing much to jump and celebrate yeax!! was smiling to myelf on the lrt train actually cause (shall not tell you) cheryl,i agree to the quote that 'things are great when you expects it but it gets better when you least expected it'.. hail to our new lovelorn queen,who now pays attention in classes!!!

created quite a stirred when i went to school yeax,people were checkin out my tann and all,said i look really good. had about like 5 comments on my nicely bronzed tann!! i thank the sun god RAH for his perpetual gift of life!! +tee hee+ who says i am not religious huh!.. :P pretty happy that they were attracted by my skin colour +tee hee+ they were like nice colour,or nice tann or you look really dark,darker... :P

cheryl came over in the evening,i did some readings for her and i think good will befall her relationship with bryan if they managed to work things out.remember what i said ok,remove theat negativity in you sis!!!! we then went to the mall to get some stuffs to munch while she accompanied me for dinner at mcdonals!! had a almost heartful talk,thanks!!

went home,took some pictures with sis which didn't turn out very well... F.R.I.E.N.D.S managed to life my load off my mind for thirty minutes.. thanks to the 6 of them,they are really good,well sad thing is that they're ... .. .. haiz... i hate sad stuffs!!!!!!!!!!! +shurgs+ beginning to feel like spinn3rz,so pessimistic!!!!!!!!!! haiz... it spreads argx....

alright,below is a song that kinda relates to how i am feeling right now,i love the girls,beautiful songs they have.. enjoy!!

+mid cool bananaz+

lyrics of the day

lifs got cold - girls aloud

Oh oh yeah ooh

We text as we eat
As we listen to the freaks
As we wait for the right of way
We text as we talk
We're running as we walk
Cos we're several little souls away
We smoke as we choke
As we sink another Coke
And we grin when it blows on mine
We skate as we date
As we slowly suffocate
We're running, we're running, we're running
Out of time

My life got cold
It happened many years ago
When summer slipped away
So chill now oh
We've got many years to go
So take it day by day

And on the go
I lost my soul
To some forgotten dream and
How was I supposed to know
It wasn't what it seemed
And even though the last to low
Has left me on the floor
I don't believe in Romeos or heroes anymore

We spend as we mend
Cos we're happy to pretend
Everything's gonna be OK
We shake as we break
Never giving 'til we take
And we hate when we have to pay
We flirt while we work
To forget about the hurt
And the trash that we left behind
We sink as we swim
The ice is wearing thin
We're running, we're running, we're running
Out of time

My life got cold
It happened many years ago
When summer slipped away
So chill now oh
We've got many years to go
So take it day by day

And on the go
I lost my soul
To some forgotten dream and
How was I supposed to know
It wasn't what it seemed
And even though the last to low
Has left me on the floor
I don't believe in Romeos or heroes anymore

My life got cold
It happened many years ago
When summer slipped away
So chill now oh
We've got many years to go
So take it day by day

And on the go
I lost my soul
To some forgotten dream and
How was I supposed to know
It wasn't what it seemed
And even though the last to low
Has left me on the floor
I don't believe in Romeos or heroes anymore

quote of the day

"All men who have achieved great things have been great dreamers."
-Orison Swett Marden

[just for fun]

2004-07-25T08:01:00.000-07:00

Which Guilty Gear X character are you?

-i am so ashamed of myself/lyrics of the day:turn back time/quote of the day

2004-07-25T01:30:00.000-07:00

i am so useless!!arrghhhhxxx!!! so darn bloody useless,i feel utterly ashamed of myself!!!!! it's such a simple task and yet i can't even do it right.... why why why? i could have done something decent but why,why and how could i have screwed up???? i don't understand,i am so sorry......... ........yeax,i am an useless darn elf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! +sobx+

don't wanna talk about that anymore.... .. .........

today's been bad,real bad.wipped up some self made rice and meat with omelette,tasted pretty good,perhaps this will the be only joyful event this whole week.... i feel really weak and i don't feel like going on... maybe unlocking my room's window might prove a good solution.... +shurgs+ don't take the previous line seriously,i am not so stupid to endanger my life.

cheryl is doing real great with bryan,so three cheers for my dearest girl! a second joy i guess that is!! she's so lucky,after such a long and tormentous wait;i feel you my dear... i am happy for you.... would love to hear more updates about his sms-es or calls to you yeax.. keep me updated..

looking forward to meeting my sec sch friends;chang and cien tomorrow,i guess it'll be fun catching up with them and well,talk about life... life.. yeah true sometiems it sucks! like what they said about we elves,we feel great emotions be it sadness,sorrow or happiness.... true very true i think........ ...........

the prince needs a saviour..... haiz........ where are you???????? +shurgs+

i think i better eat my rice now yeax,gotta run!!

uncool bananaz!!

lyrics of the day

turn back time - aqua

Give me time to reason,
give me time to think it through
Passing through the season,
where I cheated you

I will always have a cross to wear,
but the bolt reminds me I was there
So give me strength,
to face this test tonight

If only I could turn back time
If only I had said what I still hide
If only I could turn back time
I would stay for the night.

For the night...
Claim your right to science
Claim your right to see the truth
Though my pangs of conscience,
Will drill a hole in you

I seen it coming like a thief in the night,
I seen it coming from the flash of your light
So give me strength,
to face this test tonight

If only I could turn back time
If only I had said what I still hide
If only I could turn back time..
I would stay for the night

The bolt reminds me I was there
the bolt reminds me I was there

If only I could turn back time
If only I had said what I still hide
If only I could turn back time
I would stay for the night
if only i could
if only i could
if only i could turn back time
i would stay for the night
if only i could
if only i could

quote of the day

"No one can ever promise you they will never hurt you,
because at one time or another it will happen.
The real promise is if the time you spent together will be worth the pain in the end."

confessions/lyrics of the day:if i ain't got you/quote of the day

2004-07-23T07:19:00.000-07:00

i have got confessions to make!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

heh ok i am sharing my blog with my dearest letitia;my dearest classmate larx!! heh heh,i deleted her posts already,oh else people will be questioning me who i like and all yeax!!!!!! +tee hee+ i will be creating a blog for her in return larx... +tee hee+

another confession is that i will be starring in a movie along side hilary duff soon!! mwahahahahha.......

joking!!!!!!!

had a fine day today i guess,can't wait to get a "toot" tomorrow... i wanna be so really "toot" canx. yesterday my mom's friend came and kinda gave me a complement!! guess what? she said:hey u very "tooted" arhx!! i was like are you dead serious? or you're just trying to make me darn happy? mwahahaha.. oh well i though i looked (the opposite of "toot")!!!!!!!!! +tee hee+

heh heh... haiyo... haiyo.. so many assignments to do!!! sianz argx....... well i think i am falling deeper and deeper for someone's song...... alicia key's 'if i ain't got you'!! i love that song soooooo sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much canx!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so i decided to make it the lyrics of the day!! love it.... +muakie+

lyrics of the day

if i ain't got you - alicia keys

Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power, yeah
Some people live just to play the game
Some people think that the physical things define what’s within
And I been there before but that’s life’s a bore, so full of the superficial

Chorus:
Some people want it all, but I don’t want nothing at all
If it aint you baby, if I aint got you baby
Some people want diamond rings, some just want everything
But everything means nothing if I aint got you, yeah

Some people search for a fountain
The promise is forever young
(You know) Some people need 3 dozen roses
And that’s the only way to prove you love them
Hand me the world on a silver platter
And what, what would it be?
With no one to share with no one who truly cares for me

Chorus:
Some people want it all, but I don’t want nothing at all
If it aint you baby, if I aint got you baby
Some people want diamond rings, some just want everything
But everything means nothing if I aint got you, you, you
Some people want it all, but I don’t want nothing at all
If it aint you baby, if I aint got you baby
Some people want diamond rings, some just want everything
But everything means nothing if I aint got you, yeah

If aint got you with me baby, ohh, ooo
Say nothing in this whole wide world don’t mean a thing
If I aint got you with me babe

quote of the day

Each moment of a happy lover's hour
is worth an age of dull and common life.

Aphra Behn

i am really scared/lyrics of the day:the way you look tonight/quote of the day

2004-07-20T01:02:00.000-07:00

yesterday was a darn fine day i guess,everything was going well. pretty happy though when the noon sun sets in,had a couple of smses that cheered me up a little bit. +tee hee+

met bryce at mcdonals at around 930pm!! yea yea! i had mcdonals again and guess what i bought a really cute dog!! +tee hee+ yeahzzz!!!!!!!!! hmm... please look out for the week one doggies for me ok!!!! i need them!! +tee hee+ had a good chat really,and bryce;you are a nice company yea,seriously yes. sorry, made you drove all the way down here.. so paiseh! oh well and about your ex thingy,well when it comes to the concern of the heart;sometimes we need time and courage!! lots of courage i guess!! confess to him, tell him how your heart feels and never give up ok!!!! i am here to gear you up if you need a friend!! +tee hee+

something terrible happened when i was talking to cheryl after i came back from mcdonals!! my nose started bleeding again,the same nose.. i was really scared larx but i brushed it off as usual,maybe tok heaty or what lorx.... hmmtook sometime fot the bleeding to cease..

who knows i woke up in the middle of the night feeling a little wet under my nose area,i switched on the light and found myself wipping off bloog (again!!!!!) under my nose.... i was really scared larx!!! i wonder what could have caused that to happened!!! hmm.... maybe .. maybe.. luke...... hmm hmm i am really scared,if it is.. hmm how i wished the one i love was beside me now!!!!!!!!!!! haiz..

oh well... better stop scaring myself.. +tee hee+ alright gotta go prepare for my play later. it is put up by some artsy students from srjc!!! heh!!!! oh well enjoy the song that i am putting uo for you uys also not forgetting the quote of the day!!! see ya!

+cool bananaz!!!

the way you look tonight - frank sinatra

Some day,
when I'm awfully low,
When the world is cold,
I will feel a glow just thinking of you...
And the way you look tonight.

Yes you're lovely,
with your smile so warm
And your cheeks so soft,
There is nothing for me but to love you,
And the way you look tonight.

With each word your tenderness grows,
Tearing my fear apart...
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,
It touches my foolish heart.
Lovely ...

Never, ever change.
Keep that breathless charm.
Won't you please arrange it ?'
Cause I love you ...
Just the way you look tonight.
Mm, Mm, Mm, Mm,Just the way you look to-night.

quote of the day

"If love were what the rose is,
And I were like the leaf,
ur love would grow together,
In sad or sighing weather."
Swinburne, A Match

'tanned/song of the day/quote of the day'

2004-07-18T07:40:00.000-07:00

firstly,i had a real nice tann!!! feeling real good i guess,i mean feeling confident,smart,hot(err..) i guess.. as a whole package bah!! can attract more people!!! +evil laughter+ to think back,i am so ugly,nah!!! no one will look at me larx!!!

secondly, not feeling very good as to the heart i guess..

thirdly,school's starting tomorrow!! that kinda drool yea!!!!! common,it's gonna be a long dreadful day!!!!!

the only thing that kept me smiling was the HMV guy that i saw on saturday. he looked a bit like cheryl's bro but but but...................................................................... way way better(in italian accent) +evil laughter+

i guess that's about it!! below is a piece of song and quote which i wanna share with all of you!!!

coolz bananaz!!

i'll never love this way again - dionne warwick

You look inside my fantasies
And make each one come true
Something no one else had ever found a way to do
I've kept the memories one by one
Since you took me in
I know I'll never love this way again

I know I'll never love this way again
So I keep holding on before the good is gone
I know I'll never love this way again
Hold on, hold on, hold on

A fool will lose tomorrow
Reaching out for yesterday
I won't turn my head in sorrow
If you should go away

I'll stand here and remember
Just how good it's been
And I know I'll never love this way again

I know I'll never love this way again
So I keep holding on before the good is gone
I know I'll never love this way again
Hold on, hold on, hold on

quote of the day

"Everynight I pray,
I'll have you here someday.
I'll count the stars tonight,
and hope with all my might;
That when I close my eyes,
you'll be right by my side."

The Wonders

feeling bad/lyrics of the day:impossible dream/quote of the day

2004-07-15T08:41:00.000-07:00

i was practically feeling really bad the whole day.. my heart was practically squeezing 'liquid' every now and then manz.. +sobx+ letitia dear,thank you for being such a dear,you the only one whom i can confide to in class. thank you for your very long/big hug and advices!! i appreciate it!!!! once again, thank you!!

ate mcdonals again,i love it canx.... especially with their new doggie collection range!!! mwahahah!!! gotta buy more i guess!!! true to speak,imaginary fears lives in all of us! now i know how stupid am i!! i wanna thank my faires for guiding me,and sticking with me!! love all of you!!

listning to everytime by A1 now ahha kinda brought back some moments.. hmm what moments? err actually nothing larx,their love songs pretty good ah!! ahhaah.. don't you know i love sappy songs k!!

i'll be anticipating,cause i will be having my GCE 'A' levels chinese oral examinations tomorrow!!! don't know will pass or not ah! shurgs!! well bless me goddess and god!!!! please!! angels and faries too!! well.. .. ... (something i wanna text here but don't feel like it now.. +mwahaha+ +tee hee+)

here i will leave you guys with this song called impossible dreams!! simply love this song ahaha!!! +cool bananaz+ +tee hee+

Luther Vandross -Impossible Dream

To dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow
And to run where
the brave dare not go
To right the unrightable wrong
And to love pure and chaste from afar
To try when your arms are too weary
To reach the unreachable star
This is my quest
To follow that star
No matter how hopeless
No matter how far
To fight for the right
Without question or pause
To be willing to march,
march into hell
For that heavenly cause
And I know
If I'll only be true
To this glorious quest
That my heart
Will lie peaceful and calm
When I'm laid to my rest
And the world will be
better for this
That one man, scorned
and covered with scars,
Still strove with his last
ounce of courage
To reach the unreachable,
the unreachable,
The unreachable star
And I'll always dream
The impossible dream
Yes, and I'll reach
The unreachable star

_quote of the day_

"Courage is not the absence of fear,
but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear."
-Ambrose Redmoon

^confusion/lyrics of the day:without you/quote of the day

2004-07-14T08:12:00.000-07:00

woke up at half past nine,was feeling a little sleepy but nevertheless i went straight to my phone that i thought laid motionless beside my bed.'one message recieve',as swift as an eagle i dive right towards the phone and was elected to see a message sent to me by someone..

glad was i,was smiling like a kid... but somehow i felt really bad.... really...

i took my breakfast,bathe and wait wait for time to take haste..i put on something formal 'aka ryan seacrest style of dressing'. met cheryl at the foryer and god knows what!! i realise that i was there 2 days before my actual oral date whhich is on the 16th.. idiot right..

went to the mall with cheryl instead,had lunch at mac and bought some lil stuffs!!

i don't feel like carrying on,sorry;it's sudden i know but oh well.. feeling somehow.. i don't know how to explain,my heart is 'squeezing'... ..

....
....

without you - clay aiken and kimberly locke

Never even thought to cry
when I heard you say good-bye
never said where you were goin

There's no laughter in the air
only silence everywhere
and so much left unspoken

Since you been gone
I haven't been the same
I wish that I could see
who's to blame

(Chorus)
Without you where do I belong?
Without you how can i go on?
and no love like yours wil ever do
tell me how am I supposed to live my life?
without you

Was so lost in you and me
to the point I couldn't see
that what we had was dying

Now its all that I can do
to see photographs of you
and stop myself from cryin'
I should learn to live without your love
Got so many memories
but its not enough
(chorus)

I feel helpless and oh so all alone
Like I never felt before
You made me feel alive

but I don't know what it's like anymore

without you how do I go on?
(chorus)
without you how

*for you*

!quote of the day=

"But still sometimes,
when the wind is warm or the crickets sing,
I dream of a love that even time will lie down
and be still for."

-dreams/ lyrics of the day:dreams/quote of the day-

2004-07-13T08:56:00.000-07:00

"dreams",that is the brand new song from my favourite idol;diana degarmo,from the 3rd season of this monster reality tv series american idol. diana degarmo came a long way before her voice finally caught the attention of the judges and as well as the fellow americans.

was studyin with Bri and cher when fantasia's single,'i believe' was airred!! somehow i feel that fantasia lacks the power and her voice is nevertheless qucky!! sorry larx,bri but ah that;'s the truth what! +tee hee+

i mean a fool can tell that i prefer diana over fantasia! +diana rocks!!!+ somehow i think that diana performed 'i believe' much better than her fellow champion did. she has the power although compared to kelly clarkson that's pretty far fetch!! hey,ikt's pretty cool for an 16 year old to achieve that kind of vocal ability ok!!!!

+diana rocks!!!+ +chad rocks too!!+ +'someone' else rocks too!!+

love the rendition of 'without you' done by clay aiken and kimberly locke. that song was previously made famous by the 'now gone to walala land' samamtha cole. i think clay's vocal ability is formidable,second only to kelly clarkson. i mean common,he's a f****** man,and he sounds like WOW!

oh well missing .... .. .. oh well you know what la huh! ahahah till tomorrow ,peace and take care!!! having 'A' level oral tomorrow manz... scared ah!!!!!!

below is the lyrics of diana degarmo's very first single, 'dreams' and the quote of the day follows!! enjoy!! +tee hee+ +cool bananaz+

*Dreams - Diana Degarmo*

Dreams are just dreams
When they're stuck inside your head
And all it takes is a little help from you
You know it's true
That dreams are for real
When you see what I see
And you feel it too
We took the longest road
Just to make it harder
Let's do it all again
It only makes us stronger

[Chorus:]
Dreams
I guess we're just made of dream
Nothin' else matters
As long as we believe
I'm lookin' at you
And I see my life
Passing before my eyes
And when the journey's over
And all my dreams come true
I'll dream of you

What do you see
When you look inside your heart
A little thought
Can walk a thousand miles
And change your life
When dreams lead the way
The impossible is suddenly in sight
Every step you take
Just brings it all together
You gotta keep the faith
When all seems lost forever

[Chorus]

You're the one
That keeps my hope alive
My vision clear
I'll spend my life with you
Conquer fear
We'll make it through

Nothin' else matters
As long as we believe
I'm lookin' at you
And I see my life
Passing before my eyes
And when the journey's over
And all my dreams come true
I'll dream of you
I'll dream of you
I'll dream of you

-quote of the day-

"I want to hold you close to me,
to kiss your face and share your dreams.
I want to wrap you with my love,
and show you just what I'm made of.
I'm holding out my hand to you."

Source Unknown

+BIG SIGH^

2004-07-11T07:14:00.000-07:00

ok big things happened oh well.. anyway sorry sorry sorry cheryl so sorry k.. haizyo i will call ok sorry larx..... sorry sorry apologise ok!! haiz

well haiz.. i don't know what to say too.. i am feeling really lost and all although i know what i am doing..

time travel such slow i see,it's so difficult to have it pass u quickly when you're down.. haiz

+BIG SIGH#

=i feel like running away*/ quote of the day^

2004-07-08T08:40:00.000-07:00

yawnz!!! what the bloody hell,bloody bloody,i overslept and didn't go to school!! hahahaz! see can anyone so believe it??? gosh!!! i so don't believe what my mind did... somehow,i remembered my mind was subconciously telling me that it's ok to sleep cause it's raining and such a wonder it is to sleep because it's so comfy!!

+piakz#

!ouch!

was pretty guilty though. spend the whole afternoon reading the merchant tale by geoffery chaucer.. it's a beautiful tale ,i thought. lovely!! made some notes before heading for a haircut.

met brian and edi for dinner,halfway through.... i have a sudden thought of running away!! cause some terrible stuffs happened which you guys don't need to know!!! oh well,spend half the time there waiting for edi to finish his econs!! *BIG YAWNZ+

walked home after that!! long long walk. but thank goodness that cheryl was there entertaining me with the latest scandals with B!!!! hmm mwahaha shan't fill you guys wtih too much information though.... GO ASK HER!!!!! mwahahahb yawnz.... i am goin to read book liao.... ciaoz!!!!!!!!!

+coolz bananaz_

!quote of the day+

Though nothing can bring back the hours,
Of splendour in the grass,
Of glory in the flowers,
We will grieve not, rather find,
Strength in what remains behind..."

William Wordsworth

{just for fun}

2004-07-08T00:05:00.000-07:00

You are Love.

You love life, you love all those around you and
the world that you live in. You are happiest
when you are doing something for someone else
or for the common good of mankind.

What Emotion Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

askin=tiring it is_/quote of the day#

2004-07-07T09:44:00.000-07:00

today was pretty fine a day i guess. got to know some people from somewhere;which i won't even leak where so don't bother asking!!

went to tampines to meet my secondary school mates for dinner and a little gathering after god knows how long since.. err don't know when!! waited for weichang for god knows how long!! but was worth it larx,cause it's been so long since we last saw each other!!! yawnz!!!!

tired tired tired am i,my day was ok,nothing significant happened!! although,i was pretty crossed when two ajc girls pushed their way into the 27 bus!!!! disgusting can!!!! gfave them a disgusted look,guess they got what i mean yea. told brian how ungracious his school mates are,he laughed out real loud instead and said that's the way!! or did he really?

edi ah edi,please do your work ah!!!! exams coming ah,can't slack yeah!! i really hate the fact that i need to go to the library to search for litreature notes every saturday with mrs renu!! that's sick ok!! took up half of my saturday!! arrgh!! +snaps#

i better get going liao.. cause i need my beauty sleep,seriously needing it manz!!! yawnz!! oh well, before i go,here's a quote of the day!!! hope you guys love it yea!!!

+cool bananaz+

-quote of the day-

"Sometimes we must get hurt in order to grow,
we must fail in order to know,
Sometimes our vision clears,
only after our eyes are washed away with tears."

Submitted by Rachel S,

%lyrics of the day%

2004-07-07T02:05:00.000-07:00

FRANK SINATRA - ALMOST LIKE BEING IN LOVE LYRICS

What a day this has been
What a rare mood I'm in
Why it's almost like being in love
There's a smile on my face
For the whole human race
Why it's almost like being in love
All the music of life seems to be
(Just) Like a bell that is ringing for me
And from the way that I feel
When the bell starts to peel
I would swear I was falling, I could swear I was falling
It's almost like being in love

~quote of the day-

2004-07-06T09:04:00.000-07:00

"Far or forgot to me is near;
Shadow and sunlight are the same;
The vanished gods to me appear;
And one to me are shame and fame.
They reckon ill who leave me out;
When me they fly, I am the wings;
I am the doubter and the doubt,
And I the hymn the Brahmin sings."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson, Brahma

"quote of the day"

2004-07-05T09:07:00.000-07:00

"When one door of happiness closes,
another opens;
but often we look so long at the closed door,
that we do not see the one which has opened for us."

-Helen Keller

p/s:i love this quote and i hope all of you guys out there will too!!! cool bananaz!

+lost=/lyrics of the day>

2004-07-05T08:18:00.000-07:00

"if you could feel the tenderness i feel"... ... "ta dum ta dum".... guy sebestian's angle brought me here is spinning under the repeat mode on my computer. somehow i feel that,that is a really great song to have it surround you and your entire room when you're feeling sad,down or lazy. me? i don't know what i am feeling,seriously i don't.

it's kinda sad not to know what you are feeling and the cause of it.maybe i do,but i don't want to announce it to the entire world and i am not planning to tell anyone.. haha!!(cold laughter)alright,i just came back from a movie not long ago,and boy it was not as good as expected. although upon home,the tv sitcom friends was there to cheer me up.. boy was it hilarious!!i just love phoes!!

hmmm,sometimes,there's somethings that u wanted,so badly... but you know that you can't get it or have it because something is obstructing you and might be a perpetual obstruction!! you can't even ask for it!! how sad!! it's just so sad when everyone is happy and smiling but you have to hide your feelings and smile!! i've been hiding for a while,i guess these few days i have been showing quite a bit of 'are you alright face' .... ... ...

superficiality!!!!! i couldn't stand it,the word just gets me out in my fighting suit!! yes,i know i am the creater of "CGI" and i am one of the most critical person when it coems to QC-ing but oh well,it's just a farce,ok!! i believe that no one is ugly ,simple as ABC!! it takes more than looks. listen here!! all those losers who goes for looks, go and BANG THE WALL AND CRIS MY ASS!!!!!!!!!! can you people have more depth? disgusting!!!! i am here vocallize my thoughts and to lend my voice and hands to those people who have been pinned down by looks!!!!

lastly,mr bryan!!! you watch out... you did something wrong to cheryl. yes yes!!! my name is chad,and i will give you hell!!!!! the world is gettin darker i guess.. haiz...

depressed i am,=cool bananaz..+

angles brought me here
guy sebestian

It's been a long and winding journey
But I'm finally here tonight
Picking up the pieces
Walking back into the light
To the sunset of your glory
Where my heart and future lies
There's nothing like that feeling
When I look into your eyes

My dreams came true
When I found you
I found you
My miracle

If you could see what I see
You're the answer to my prayers
And if you can feel
The tenderness I feel
You would know
It would be clear
That angels brought me here

Standing here before you
Feels like I've been born again
Every breath is your love
Every heartbeat speaks your name

My dreams came true
Right here in front of you
My miracle

If you could see what I see
You're the answer to my prayers
If you could feel
The tenderness I feel
You would know
It would be clear
That angels brought me here

Brought me here to be with you
I'll be forever grateful
(Oh forever grateful)

My dreams came true
When I found you
My miracle

If you could see what I see
You're the answer to my prayers
And if you could feel
The tenderness I feel
You would know
It would be clear
That angels brought me here
(x 2)

"quote of the day"

2004-07-04T08:56:00.000-07:00

"To dream a dream,
is to awaken your inner self.
Your wants,
your desires,
your passions are given life."

Submitted by Anastasia

^quote of the day_

2004-07-02T09:36:00.000-07:00

"Watchin' lovers walkin',
hand in hand they pass me by.
Wish I was one of them.
Wish I had somebody,
wakin' up beside me,
lookin' into my eyes at night."

Christina Aguilera

^quote of the day/song of the day:

2004-07-01T11:41:00.000-07:00

quote of the day:

"In time all things grow old and weak,
but my love for you only grows strong
and better with every second of every day."

Submitted by Kim Ouellette

song of the day:

Come on
And finally the silence,
looking out, looking back across the sky,
Trying to find a meaning,
knowing that I just left it all behind
Still I smell a lingering softness
Where did she go, how did she go, I wanna know
I wanna know that she'll be coming here to me
Come on, without you I'll never feel the love inside
of me
Come On, you know that we belong
come on, come on
Thinking back before her,
I never knew the meaning of alone
Still the flag is feeling foreign,
I live the day to escape into a phone
Speaking of a world not real then
where did she go how did she go, I wanna know
I wanna know that she'll be coming here to me
Come on...
She's coming, She's coming here to me, I'm needing,
desiring to kiss her now, I'm living for her,
breathing for her, singing for her fairytale.

Artist : Ben Jelen

Title : Come On

[singing like a maddox]

2004-07-01T07:04:00.000-07:00

cool bananas dudez!!!!!!!!!! hey hooo!!!!! how's everyone? waiting for me?? (i knew it) +very thick skin+ talking about skin,my face is erupting with pipmles here and there, some as huge as the volcanos in hawaii,some as humble as edison's ego!!! oh god, karma it must be..sorry goddess!!!!!

oh well,here i am applying a thick layer of penoxide all over the affected areas!! it's kinda troublesome cause i can't sleep sideways with those cream intact!! as you know, sunday is approaching and i wanna look my best!! (not like i've never.. +winkz+) oh at least better than how ho yao sun looked, she's really scary!!!! opps!.. i did it again...

oh well went to edi's place to accompany him cause he said he can't go out and was really bored.being such a fantastic friend,i travelled all the way to his place after school ok!! see that's how nice i am!! mwahahaha... okok shall stop it before....hmm well sang to his sis and his friend; face to face and to the phone respectively, i think i am falling in love with performing more than ever.. ignited did that feeling after singing chains of fools!!! i wonder!!!!

alright shall get off now,well see ya all soon k! coll bananas!!!! muakz!!

*entertainment at it's freshest#

2004-07-01T07:00:00.000-07:00

'Idol' Finalist DeGarmo to Release Single

ATLANTA - Now comes a real thrill for the pride of Snellville. "American Idol (news - web sites)" finalist Diana DeGarmo's first single, "Dreams," will be released Tuesday by RCA Records, and the 17-year-old singer says she's excited to hear it played on the radio.

"I know I'm probably going to have a heart attack," DeGarmo told The Associated Press Sunday in a telephone interview from Los Angeles, where she's been rehearsing for the "American Idol" summer concert tour.

She was the runner-up to Fantasia Barrino — who now goes by Fantasia — in this season's "American Idol" singing competition. Though Fantasia won the record contract given to the winner of the popular Fox TV show, DeGarmo said she's close to signing a record deal.

"We're signing soon with RCA," DeGarmo said. "We're doing a full album, and if all things go well, hopefully it will be out before the end of the year. I can't wait to have everything finalized and in ink."

The three-song CD single also contains DeGarmo's version of "I Believe," the single released by Fantasia, and "Don't Cry Out Loud."

Fantasia and DeGarmo each performed "I Believe" on "American Idol."

DeGarmo says she knows some will view her relationship with Fantasia as an ongoing competition, just as some still contrast the careers of "American Idol" contestants Ruben Studdard (news) and Clay Aiken (news).

"Actually, we haven't talked about it," DeGarmo said. "I don't think it will be an issue because we will be so completely different in voice and style and music."

DeGarmo recorded "Don't Cry Out Loud" with studio help from Melissa Manchester (news), who had a top 10 hit with the song in 1979.

"It's really a great feeling of accomplishment," DeGarmo said. "We've gone so far and done so many things, putting our work and money and tears into it."

DeGarmo will make a brief return to her home state on the Fourth of July when she sings the national anthem before the Atlanta Braves' home game against the Boston Red Sox.

She sang the national anthem at a Braves game at the old Atlanta-Fulton County Stadium while she was in third grade, and more recently at Turner Field, but she says this will be different.

"It's pretty cool going back and not just being the little girl from Snellville, but now you have a name when you come back," DeGarmo said.

Even better, she'll have a single.

[out of your mind] / "quote of the day"

2004-06-29T08:39:00.000-07:00

hello!!! ok i have my mid year results in hand!! gosh!! how did you fare?? heh heh heh.. okok! listen friends and dearest, i got B,C,C.. as usual failed my chinese, an e8; which i am pretty happy about.B3 for GP and an D7 for a/o maths.. not too bad i guess..:)

had an middling day, was feeling a little under the weather. feverish at times and signs of sore throats which i hope that will not attack any time this week because i have an extremly important audition on sunday!!! god and goddess, i hope to make it through the next round!!!! tee hee!!

met edison for dinner at compass mall,it was really sweet for him to have come all the way here to sengkang!!! (touched manz) we were like bio-ing some srjc err hmm.... wow really cute manz,can i like die?? never knew that srjc has such fine collections of cuties!!! cheryl, intro some will you??

along came brian when i was havin my century egg congee. gave edi a shock he did by electrifying him directly at his weakest point; his flabby waist.. what a blubber manz,edi was out of his soul today,went into the ladies instead of the gents!!!!! i had a good time laughing my head off!!!!!

oh yeah,by the way sengkang had a major blackout!!!!!!!!!!!! mwahahah .... was pretty cool i thought....ok i shall stop here! enjoy your night peeps!!! cool bananas!!!!

"the quote of the day":

That's how men are!
Ungrateful and never satisfied.
When you don't have them,
They hate you because you won't.
And when you do have them,
They hate you again, for some reason.
Or for no reason at all,
Except that they are discontented children,
And can't be satisfied whatever they get,
Let a woman do what she may.

D.H.Lawrence

"i feel so cosin-ed(mathematically)"

2004-06-28T06:31:00.000-07:00

god god god!! how time flies. it's monday again!! i always hate mondays;you know the usual blues and that headache of mine just didn't make it any much better apart from the extra 2 hours of sleep i get in the late afternoon after watching hellboy, which i don quite get anything as the vcd quality is in such an aborrent state.

my day just couldn't get anymore better,apart from that lingering effects from the "exchange of harsh words" on saturday.(you guys should get what i mean, p/s i decided not to publish it anymore;thank you) that "desperate b**** with attitude" aka "my sis" totally screw my day up without even having the need to open her piehole. now,how powerful is that? oh what a jezebel!!! totally!!!! let's not talk about her, i don't want my reader's spirit to tumble to a lowly low as s** ho's jaw line(horsey) !! opps!..i did it again!!!

okok enough of those jokes. i just came to realise that a lot of people are down with sore throats and flu plus a little bit of cough. the weather is wreaking up again yea;like we being inhabitants of our earth haven't have enough problems of our own let alone to the climate!! gosh! what am i talking about? maybe i am just being naggy and all. oh well who cares? this is MY blog! mwahahahaz!!!

love has been taking a little bit of florishing recently, hold on.. not to me but to people around me!! just take "the meat lovers" for example(both of you should know who i am referring to: mut n pork), with jav and cher on their way to bloom things a little bit further. i certainly hope the process of their florishing may be filled with more plupiness!!!! arrgh, how sad i am to just to withness the procedure and not able to take part in it.... sobxxx....

oh well guess,i've to stop whinning and till tomorrow may the day continues to roll with greenaries ahead!! muakz!!

cool bananas!

"quote of the day"

2004-06-26T10:20:00.000-07:00

"Motivation is everything.
You can do the work of two people,
but you can't be two people.
Instead,
you have to inspire the next guy down the line and get him to inspire his people. "

-Lee Iacocca

[family nest? broken once and for all !!

2004-06-26T09:08:00.000-07:00

heh.. this is (FOR THE FIRST TIME) NOT chad.. for the very first time, chad has a guest 'blog-updater'! and that's me, Gerald Tan...

went to study with Chad, Cheryl, Edison, Brian and Javin at Javin's place.. then all was fine and nice until the time when i reached home at 11... and found that i was locked out of the house without warning (AGAIN).. i just stood out there really shocked...i dint noe wat to feel.. did i hate her? or did i blame myself for coming back so late..i seriously was at a blank.. i called out to my sis twice and i gave up.. the whole family was already sleeping.. i refuse to give in anymore to her everytime she does this kind of stupid things...

so at first i called KY but he dint answer. so the next person that came to my mind was Chad... i called him and he said come over loh.. so i did la..

okok.. so i reached his place le.. little that i noe that chad quarrelled with his mother.. my my.. i was really scared la.. i tot to myself, "gosh, wat have i done."

so now im here typing this entry in Chad's room. and as im typing, Chad is conferencing with Cheryl, edison and brian...

on what happened chad will update you in the next entry..

love,gerald

"entertainment @ it's freshest"

2004-06-24T11:06:00.000-07:00

+hey guys this is a brand new segment called entertainment @ it's freshest!! i'll bring you the latest news from the entertainment world,just for you!! heh heh.. so keep your eyes peel!!!

Spice Girls drop greatest hits album for now

The Spice Girls have dropped plans to release a greatest hits album after a series of rows between them.

The Sun says the five have pulled the release date because Mel C didn't want to be part of a concert promoting the CD.

And bosses at Virgin Records refused to spend millions of pounds plugging the disc unless all five agreed to sing at the one-off gig.

The paper says Mel B, Emma Bunton, Geri Halliwell and Victoria Beckham were keen to go ahead with the show. But apparently Mel C still believes she can find solo success, says the paper.

A source said: "Mel refuses to join the girls on stage because she still dreams of making it big by herself.

But she's on her smallest tour ever - and that's struggling.

"She told the others she was happy to do TV interviews to plug the album but that was it. The money men at Virgin said a big concert was the only way to guarantee massive publicity, so they pulled plans for a release in the first week of November.

The source added: "They have agreed to release the greatest hits in 2006. It's billed as ten years of the Spice Girls since they released their first single Wannabe in 1996.

"The girls reckon Mel will be back with her tail between her legs by then. Her solo career will be a distant memory so she'll have no choice but to jump on the bandwagon."

-quote of the day-

2004-06-24T11:00:00.000-07:00

Standing by,
All the way.
Here to help you through your day.

Holding you up,
When you are weak,
Helping you find what it is you seek.

Catching your tears,
When you cry.
Pulling you through when the tide is high.

Absorbing your voice
When you talk.
Standing by when you learn to walk.

Just being there,
Through thick and thin,
All just to say, you are my friend.

- Brittani Kokko -

+brand new+

2004-06-23T22:10:00.000-07:00

a huge shout out to my faithful group of readers here. thank you for time taken from work or studies just to scan through my old blog,this time round i promise great fun still,also amazing stories and lovely dovely love and inspirational qoutes. i've grown so much as a person,a friend,a brother,a aspiring singer and as an inhabitant of our lovely world. over these few months i have seen the worst of how a human can practically behave,i am totally disgusted.

i guess everyone grows from time to time and learn from their mistakes and doings. no exception am i. these few months had been a wonderful ride of joys, pains and beautiful first experiences; hanging out with edi,jav,cher,gerald,wy and bri; you guys made me feel right where i am supposed to be and for embrasing my talents. your words are every encouragment one can ever yearn for and you guys made me feel esteemed. thank you, all of you..

my secondary school gang!! hey jia,chang,lian,en,kel,ron,ben,ting,nes and licia; thank you all for holding up to me and guiding me like lights along the streets. you guys lit my darkest hours bright and i found true friendship in you guys! a toast to ya all!! inaddition,i would love to shout out to my classmates, friends from the united states esp xxxx steel; miss you lots, my university pals;you guys are like big big uncles to me yeoz!!! mwahah thank you for your kind advices,appreciate it a lot!

these few weeks had been great!! brilliant!! had tremendous fun hanging out around town,attending concerts, barbecues,getting to know new people and having lots of fun singing!!!with regards to my latest work on blog*spot, i hope you guys will spot the more mature writting offered my non other than me and also not forgetting the bubly and cool stlye that i seek and offer!

+cool bananas+

-song of the week-

2004-06-23T09:09:00.000-07:00

Guess mine is not the first heart broken
My eyes are not the first to cry
I'm not the first to know there's
Just no getting over you

You know I'm just a fool who's willing
To sit around and wait for you
But baby can't you see there's nothing left for me to do
I'm hopelessly devoted to you

But now there's no way to hide
Since you pushed my love aside
I'm outta my head hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you

My head is saying fool forget him
My heart is saying don't let go
Hold on to the end, that's what I intend to do
I'm hopelessly devoted to you

But now there's no way to hide
Since you pushed my love aside
I'm outta my head hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you

*hopelessly devoted to you - girls aloud

#quote of the day#

2004-06-23T08:56:00.000-07:00

As I look out at the majestic sea,
I know you and I were meant to be.
I only wish I could make you see
how much your love means to me.
I wish I could walk up to you
and speak the words that lovers do.
But now I sit here sad and blue
wishing that I could be with you.

- Stephanie Carlsward